His Name Is Wentz

16

[This chapters all over the place good luck with it guys xD]

I loaded food into the fridge. Pete watched me carefully. I loaded more food into it then ran the sink. My motions were stiff and angry. Stressed out. I rolled up my sleeves the dumped soap on the sponge. I wasn't moving in with him. It was too early. This was scary. Love isn't real. That's what I grew up learning. That's what my mom told me. Love isn't real. I scrubbed a fork forcefully I stopped washing and turned on my radio blasting Green Day across my small apartment. I went back to scrubbing the few dishes in my sink.

"Patrick" Pete mumbled. I ignored him and slammed the fork into the tray of washed dishes. "Patrick" he said louder. I needed to wake up from this dreamland that love exists because it doesn't. There's no moving in together. No getting married. No adopting kids. No happy ever after. Somewhere along the line it will fall apart and break. Broken Thats how it always goes. Happy ever after only exists in books and movies. I scrubbed a mug angrily.

"Patrick!" he yelled. I slammed the mug onto the floor. He turned the sink off as I glared at the broken glass on the ground. Broken. Pieces were scattered all across the floor. Fallen apart and broken. "Patrick" he said hugging me. I shook in his arms.

"Love does not exist" I whispered.

"Yes it does. I'm experiencing it right now" He let go of me then looked into my eyes.

"I will not move in with you. I will not marry you. I will not grow old with you. Everything will break into a million pieces because that's how it always works. You'll get bored with me. You're a dominant of course you will. You'll move onto a girl or a guy with a model perfect body. Then realize how much better they are and marry them instead of me" Tears fell down my cheeks "And that is why I will not move in with you. Because someone or something will drop us and we will smash. Just like the god damn mug" My voice cracked. I kicked the shards of glass across the floor not caring that my foot was getting cut up extremely badly. I've had worse pain.

"Patrick stop" he said. He hugged me to him again. I cried on his chest "I won't let you go" he whispered in my ear.

"Yes you will" I sobbed "Everyone does. My dad left me. My ex left me. Everyone I love leaves Pete! My mom moved away and married someone who hates me. Brendons drifting away. You'll leave me. Everyone does"

"I'm not gonna leave you. Breathe. I'm right here and I always will be" He stroked my hair.

"I know you won't" I whimpered.

"I promise you. I cross my fucking heart and hope to die. I will be here by your side forever. I swear to god I will never leave you. I promise" I nodded on his chest. We'll see Pete. We'll see.
•••••
He cooked food for us. Fillet. I wasn't in the mood to eat. I was in the mood for something else. I slammed Pete against the wall kissing him. He wasn't expecting it so it took him a while to kiss me back. His tongue slid into my mouth.

"Patrick stop" he said pushing me back a little. I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. "I'm not sleeping with you right now okay?" he asked. I grabbed my jacket and walked out of my apartment. I was such a mess right now. What did I want? A cigarette. I walked to the local store and bought a pack. I hadn't smoked in years but it felt necessary. Pete denied me pleasure. I was so lost in my own thoughts I thought sleeping with him would help. I'm fucked up. I shoved the cigarette in my mouth and lit it. The problems of the world dissipated with the smoke I blew out of my mouth. I walked back to my apartment. I blew through two cigarettes on the way. Pete was sitting on his car waiting for me. He stared confused at the cigarette in my mouth. I took it out between my two fingers. I blew smoke at him. He coughed and tried to wave it away.

"I grew up learning that love doesn't exist. Everyday my mom would tell me that. 'Patrick never fall in love. Because it will never exist' and then she'd turn her head to cry. She'd drown her sorrows in beer while smoking a joint" I took another drag before putting the cigarette out "I'm hard to love Pete. It's probably why everyone leaves me. My fear is you leaving. And I'm scared because I do love you. When I grew up hearing it doesn't exist" He grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together. I stared down at them. They fit so perfectly. "I have a question for you" I said still staring at our hands.

"You can ask me anything" he mumbled.

"Can you love me forever? Do you have that ability? Can you love me and my issues forever?" I asked. He took. the pack from my pocket and threw the cigarettes across the parking lot.

"Yes Patrick. I can and will love you forever" he hugged me tightly. I smiled on his shoulder.

"How soon can I move in?" I asked.