Letters You Will Never Read

Why You Aren't Too Good For Me

You're different than Jackson.

You laugh at tragedies. You make fun of people who deserve your respect. It's rude, but not as rude as if anyone else did it. After all, you're a genius; you can afford to make fun of Einstein every now and again. Heroes you scoffed at, bravery you mocked, and that annoyed me. I've always looked up to people who overcome their fear.

Jackson cares about people, but unlike you he doesn't really understand them. He tries, but it's only after a careful explanation that he comprehends their struggles. He's been so... sheltered.

In our Freshman year you and I sat at the lunch table and pointed out students, naming their expression, making theories as to what they were thinking and what they thought of their companions. You were always so right about those things, I was never bored talking to you. People watching became a game, a challenge, and yet it was always rewarding. I was more enthusiastic about it, true; the part of the game you liked was proving me wrong. I said, "I think Ryan has a crush on Shelby from my math class," And you said, "Ryan? He likes Kennedy, how can you not tell? He's sitting right next to her, and he can't even look away."

Your expression when you won, smirking right into my eyes, meant something.

It meant it wasn't about the game, to you. It wasn't about people watching.

It meant...

a lot, to me. No one else could challenge my thinking like you did. No one else was so smug and annoying about it. No one else could make smug and annoying seem so charming.

 

Still, the fourth day of Sophomore year I made a list.

Things I hate about you...

1. You refuse to improve you appearance even though your glasses look dorky on you.

2. You are a hypocrite, encouraging people to do things you would never do.

3. You understand people's struggles so well, but you never offer help

4. You keep the people you love at a distance.

5. You're stubborn.

6. You lose your temper and it's scary.

7. You are so possessive of anything that belongs to you.

8. You hold people's emotions against them, even if they are positive.

9. You never lose at anything, and you're a snobby winner.

10. You either refuse to shut up, or you refuse to say anything.

11. You always have to get your way.

12. You won't let yourself admit that you want something if the sacrifice is a risk to your pride.

13. You didn't talk to me over the summer, and you've been avoiding me all week.

14. The only time you glanced at me was before asking Nelson to sit in the only chair next to you in the cafeteria. Jerk. You don't even like Nelson.

I know, you don't have the background I do (as far as my 'research' has been able to discover, at least), but your personality suggests that you have the same faults as me, just different circumstances. Maybe we are too alike...

 

Jackson asked me to dinner.