Tear of Winter [complete]

PART 3

And there I saw what I didn’t expect to see. From a top, I can see the whole city with neon lights like stars shining while scattered around the ground. The park we are located is called the upper-west park. It’s the farthest park in this city, and it’s located at the top of a small mountain. It’s famous for its nature beauty and of course it’s isolation making it a pure nature theme.

I’ve seen this place several times when I was a child. I remembered the days that I loved my life, where I enjoyed living in a simple life with small dreams and all. Those are already in a past and it’s been so long since I last visited here. But this time it’s different, as I look at the sceneries I can also see her face clearly, for the 1st time after all our discussions and story telling I finally saw her face. I just realized how fragile this girl in front of me, how pale her skin, how thin she is... Even though she tries her best to smile... Painful memories can't be hidden...

She has a bad past; she doesn’t need to tell me as I too can see myself from her. The same look in the face when having problems in your life, the same expression when you are looking for an answer that can solve it. Although we both have some similarities, I noticed how I ended up being like this and her as she is. She didn't let it bothered her life while I on the other hand didn’t let go of the past.

"Grudge..." she suddenly said it out of blue. As she loosens her scarf, she tries to reach the star-like images from the city.

"Grudge makes people loose hope... It can cloud your perspective and decisions either right or wrong... That's why I never put a grudge to anyone, even though I can feel a bit of suffering, I never loose hope..."

"What's keeping you on smiling??" I was curious as to how she can keep her cool. I understand very well how pain is and I know it's hard to bear with it. I experienced lots of trials in life that made me who I am today. She looked at me directly in the eyes and smiled again.

"I have a son, his the only reason I was able to move forward..."

Ah, so she has a family already. I felt disappointment inside me, I don't understand though as to why I'm feeling this pain right now. Maybe I thought of her as someone special already?

"Is that so?" That's the only response I can give to her after what she said.

"I really love him very much! His is my world and for me he will always be my cute son!" she keep saying positive things about his son. I can't bear to listen; a pain keeps disrupting my heart. Maybe this is what they call jealousy? It's funny, I felt jealous to someone I didn't even know. What's more funny is the fact that I'm acting selfish to a total stranger.

I was forced to step back as she keeps telling about her son. She suddenly noticed that I'm becoming more uncomfortable. She stops talking and tries to get close to me. From that moment, I felt shivers through out my body. "Don’t!" I stop her from getting close to me. This feeling is making me nostalgic at some point. I can't take this eerie feeling, it's like I've seen and felt this kind of atmosphere. Because of this I don't know what to react, the option I have on my mind right now was to get out from here.

"What's the problem?" She keeps asking me the question, "I'm sorry I thought I can tell you something like that..."

"No, it's not that..." I really don't like how this turned out. "I don't know I think I need some air..." I was able to move my feet away from her. As I walk away, she suddenly yelled saying something. I wasn't able to hear it but as I tried to look back an item was tossed at me. I caught it by impulse and saw that it's the orange juice she bought earlier.

"Please have that!" she keeps yelling while I walk away. "It's the least thing I can do for you..."

I didn't understand what her intentions are; I didn't even know what she means by that. What matters most is to remove this trembling feeling of nostalgic. I don't like it at all, it's keeping my head dizzy and in pain. As I walk away, I couldn't see her from behind anymore. This is what I want, well that's what I think.

As I walk forward, I keep looking at the canned juice she gave me. I don't want to drink it because it's cold but I played with it by tossing it upwards. As I try catching it I suddenly remembered...

I felt a sudden flashback on my mind, in an instant everything that happened before this event returned back at me. The day I left my house to have fun, the day I went inside a pub, and the day I collapsed from the ground. It all happened before I woke up in this cold park. I finally remembered how I have ended up here in this park.