Tear of Winter [complete]

PART 4

--A few hours earlier before the park incident--

I was drunk and couldn’t move from my spot. I tried walking steadily but my feet are not responding to what I want them to do. As I got dizzy due from all the alcohol I drank, I suddenly fell on a pile of snow from the ground.

“This is pathetic!” I laugh hard as no ones helping me to stand up. I understand that no one wants to get close to a drunken person such as me. I even saw some of my officemates in a nearby alley but they ignored me like they saw nothing. I was about to shout from frustrations when I felt a touch from my hands, yes it’s my secretary who keeps bugging me from my hobbies. She even exceeded the role of being a mother and keeps pestering me to surrender my cold habits. I ignored her many times and yelled at her too but here I am being helped by the person I very least to see.

“Sir please return back at your home while you can! The snow is getting thicker and the weather’s dangerous today than the previous years!” She keeps pulling me up but couldn’t do it. It's such a bad sight seeing someone being a good samaritan to a boss. All I can think of to people like that is they what a good score.

Of course same routine like teh previous years I ignored my secretary, yelled at her and I continue to wonder on the streets. It's normal to think that she will stop her nonsense blabbering once I do those things at her but this time it's different. She's more persistant than before.

"Sir, please go home. There will be a bad weather coming today that's why the snow is a bit heavier." She keeps pulling my sleeves just to stop me but I pushed her away.

"God dammit! You're too nozy for a secretary!" I starts scratching my head and got angry; "Could you just leave me alone?! I'm really fed up on your actions!"

"But sir?!"

"You're fired! Got that?! Now leave!" I think when I said those words I saw a glimpse of her face holding back her tears but I couldn't care less. They are all the same to me. They just want power and position that's why most people tries to get close to higher ranking officers. But I'm not like that and I pity them who can't even reach the top.

It took me a long time before I finally realize the weather is indeed different today than before. As I try to return back to a parking area where my car is I suddenly felt dizzy again. I thought first it's because of the alchohol but this time I cough hard too. As I close my mouth while coughing I starts vomiting and that's when I realize I'm not healthy what I used to be.

Blood. I can see a lot of blood from my hand. I was so shock that my hands starts trembling with fear. The hard part is that I keep coughing non-stop. I tried to hold it as I don't want to see more blood but I couldn't stop it. Before I realized the situation I'm already lying on the ground can't move even a muslce in a middle of a cold weather like this I'm helpless.

"This must be my punishment..." I sighed while looknig at teh clouds in the sky. The clouds are dark and keeps producing snow non-stop. I remembered what my secretary is telling me. It is indeed heavier today than the previous weathers. But it's too late to blame myself. I was the one who choose this destiny. If I die today it's now or never.

I really don't believe in such miracles but this time I thought I was saved. A man keeps staring at me while I was on the ground half awake. I thought to myself maybe his a passer-by but no. He has a role to my life. As I try reaching at him I also realized the fact that I'm not ready to die yet. I wanted to live, I wanted to do the things I haven't done before, I wanted to do what is right before they take me to hell, I wanted to correct things.

"Is that what you trully desire?" He asked me in such a calm manner that I thought I'm just seeing things.

"Yes. I was a fool before but now I'm afraid to die." I was crying as I admitted myself how weak I am.

"Then I'll give you a chance to change things before I take you away." that was his last words before my sight turned blank. I couldn't remember his face, it was too dark and my visions are failing at me but I knew his not an ordinary person. That time I felt his presence was really strong. After that I just woke up in a park where it's still snowing but with a gentle calm weather.

I finally remembered! I finally remembered how I got here, how someone like me was given a chance to change things again, how I was saved from my agonizing health at the park. I was sure I was returned back at here with a purpose. I knew I need to do something her but what is it? I can't remember him saying any specific task. All I remember is that he has given me a chance to prove myself. Is that it? Do I have to be a good samaritan too? But to whom?? I keep thinknig while holding teh canned juice then a sudden strike of idea came to my mind. Why did I just noticed it today? The answer is obvious and right in front of me.

I ran as fast as I could looking where she went. It's so obvious, she's the only person I saw when I woke up in this scenario! She must be the chosen one that I must save or whatever the task is. I'll definitely find her and help her. I previously don't believe in miracles but I know this is genuine. I also don't care anymore if I'll look stupid as long as I can correct things then I could die in peace.

That's what I thought.

But I was too late.

I was so shock to what I saw that my legs weakened and I unconsciously kneeled down. Is this what supposed to happen? Or did I just arrived too late?? She was there alright. I found her but not what I wanted to see nor happened. I trembled with the sudden sight that I suddenly shread a tear.

She's just there. Lying on the ground trying to grab more air as she tries to breath. You'll definitely be horrid to see a young girl trying to hold on to something just to stay alive. I finally understood myself. This is how I look like when I was trying my best to stay alive. She'll definitely die in this situation. Covered with her own blood she strives hard to be saved.