Love is a Golden Chance

What am I Doing with my life?

Last night was definitely a roller coaster ride for me. All my emotions mixed, and my head felt nauseous, the kind of feeling you get when you've head too many drinks, but the only difference between this, and being drunk, is you can never put the past behind you.

I walked through the sparseness of the hall, clutching on to the hand rail at the side of the stairs, regretting my actions. Why, oh why did I have to fall for something so precious, yet so utterly difficult to maintain. Now everyone will think I am insane, always looking at the museum, when I pass by it. Longing to catch a mere glimpse of my boyfriend, remembering his last words. 

Amaria sat in front of the TV, her eyes glued to the screen, and I tried to motion her to follow me, but she carried on in this fashion. I left her there, getting out into the afternoon sun, how familiarly golden it was. 

It just wasn't working.

I dug my hand deep into my pockets, and felt my phone. It was vibrating.

I answered whoever had called, without bothering to look at the caller ID. I recognised the voice. It was Tayyibah.

"Hi, what you up to"

"Nothing" I sighed sadly, gazing up a the perfectly painted blue beauty, "Outside, enjoying the weather, I guess."

"Wow, you sound really dull. Is something bothering you?" She asked in concern

Yes, of course something is bothering me, and you so fucking lucky you still have your boyfriend!! 

"Erm, can I come over to your house? If your mom is OK with it?"

"Oh, she's out, but yeah of course you can."

"So you're alone, right?"

"Ermm, Suga and me are watching a movie, but you can come over, don't worry"

I hung up, and at the same time, a tear rolled down my cheek. I wasn't jealous, it's just, why me? 

I proceeded back inside, bounding up the stairs. I sifted through my closet, found some jeans and a sweatshirt, and put them on. I lightly brushed my hair, braided it, and ran out of the house.