Mind Reconstructive

Aftermath

(Erril)

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My head pounds as I lean against the sink, utterly exhausted. How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to survive these stupid attacks anymore?  They're getting worse.

Moaning, I push myself away from the silent faucet and rub the make-up off from under my eyes. With all the crying I've done lately I'm considering going for the natural look and giving up makeup altogether. It's not like anyone  other than the Willem's ever see's me anyways.

Other than Dare, that is.

I honestly have no idea how to feel towards the boy. I can't necessarily hate him, especially after he's just helped me overcome another panic attack. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm completely embarrassed about that. My hope was to just sweep that under the rug and keep it there. I'd rather it be an awkward elephant in the room than to acknowledge that it happened. And  I was so happy to have a clean slate when I moved here.

Well that worked well.

Obviously, I'm quite sarcastic when I'm grumpy. It's all I can do to  hope I never appear that way to the kids...

And then I remember.

"Crap!" I mutter, realizing that they, as well as Dare, are still downstairs, and that soon I'll have to go down again.

I groan inwardly as I walk down the stairs, wishing fear was easier to face.

Why does fate hate me?

I try to enter the main floor quietly, not wanting to be noticed again. Selah is sitting in the living room with Andrea watching Winnie the Pooh, again. That's basically all they ever want to watch. It's kind of funny, I can imagine each of them like a different character from the show. Andrea is like Owl; smart, and definitely not afraid to show it. Allison reminds me of Winnie the Pooh because, though she doesn't always pay attention, she's caring and quiet and tries hard to be empathetic. Then there's Selah. To me, she's like Christopher Robin. Always understanding the situation, and having an idea what to do and how to act. She's wise beyond her years, and I love her for it.  I probably sound like I favor her above everyone else, and maybe I do, but she's one of the few people who actually understands me.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I take a seat between Allison and Selah.

"Which episode are we watching?" I inquire quietly.

"The actual movie, shh."

Allison answers and then shushes me.

"Again? Really?" I whisper back.

"SHH! This is the best part!"

rolling my eyes I situate myself better on the couch and fix my eyes on the television, determined to forget my panic and problems in general.

Until the phone rings.

  Muttering something incoherent to myself I stand and drag my feet towards the phone. Granted, getting up when I'm completely exhausted is part of my problem, but my bigger obstacle at the moment is my fear of answering phone calls. Call it PTSD or whatever but the only phone call I ever received was also the worst moment of my life. Not to mention the fact that Dare was in the kitchen where the phone could be located.

I should probably gather my courage and act like I'm okay, but Dare's already seen me at my near worst, (Key word being "near") so I figure it doesn't matter that much anyways. Therefore, scowling like I'm about to meet my worst enemy, I enter the kitchen and pick up the phone.

"H-hello?" (I hate my voice for it's shakiness.)

"Hi, may I please speak to Georgia?"

"She's not here at the moment...c-can I take a message?"