Mind Reconstructive

Sound and Silence

Everything is white. Everything. The walls, ceiling, and floor are made up of white walls. I am in white too. It's hard to move. Why can't I move?

The unknown is a fearful place, and this place is unknown to me.

Looking down, I realize that my clothes are most definitely not normal. I seem to be in a long coat, buttoned up the front, with restraints. my arms are folded, tightly hugging my stomach and held in place by the overly long sleeves of whatever I'm dressed in. My heart rises in my throat and begins to beat wildly. Where am I??? The walls begin to close, growing brighter as my claustrophobia gains it's grip on my mind, and i begin to panic. There's no way out. My breathing grows heavy and there is a high pitched whining noise as the chaos of moving walls, terrifying images, sound, and silence together take over my senses, washing over me in maddening waves of fright. The black spots in my vision grow and dance together as though taunting me in my own confusion. I try to scream but my voice gets lodged in my mouth. There is no escape.

And then wake up.

quickly I sit up, seeing dark spots in my vision, and run my hands through my hair trying to maintain control. The claustrophobia I felt hasn't gone away, though I am now in the reality of my spacious bedroom. Thinking hasn't gotten any easier either. Desperate, I clutch one of my pillows to my face and begin to scream. I cry and wail miserably into the colorless cushion until my voice is hoarse; and then some. Will this trapped feeling I possess ever leave?

I can't do it. I can't stay here in this place and scream until I pass out, so I decide to run. Not run away, just run. escape for a bit, go somewhere.

Hastily I fall out of bed, taking the comforter down with me, and throw on a hoodie over my t-shirt, not bothering to change my sweat-pants.

I don't even look in the mirror.

"Georgia?" I call softly as I make my way down the stairs. Silence. I tip-toe into the kitchen to find a note stuck to the fridge.

Erril; Gone to run some errands with the kids, be home around lunch, love you,

Georgia

I suppose that means it's the weekend, since she's not bringing the kids to school. keeping track of what day it is is never something I care to do.

I sigh, glad that Georgia and the girls weren't around to hear my little breakdown. As I may be out for a while I scribble a note and leave it next to Georgia's, grab my iPod and headphones, and slip out, attempting to leave my disturbance behind.

As I set out, I begin to calm down a bit. Not a lot-mind you, just a little bit. I jog at as quick a pace as my legs will allow, not bothering to look where I'm going.

This whole place leaves me in wonder. I don't get out much, other than running errands with Georgia, and when i do i don't really care to look out at where I am, so this is a whole new place to explore.

There are a lot of trees. I love trees. Though it's autumn, much of the scenery is still filled with green. It's peaceful as well, which helps to calm me. There are barely any cars, and it's early enough that the people are scarce as well, something that I thank my lucky stars for as I run the street.

but one cannot run forever, so I slow my pace as I near a large, spacious park. It's somehow reminiscent of Central Park, just not quite as huge. I adjust my earbuds and scroll down in my music app until I find Bon Iver's Holocene. Sighing, I settle myself on an ancient bench, which creaks as I sit down. It's oddly comfortable for a wooden piece of furniture that has most-likely been here for centuries.