Letters to you

Recognition

Staying mad at you is an obstacle I can't overcome. You're the one person I'd let back in after disappearing  for weeks upon time. Maybe that makes me weak in the mind. My mind can't function with the fact that I'm unwanted yet needed. I pleaded for you to stay and I question if you even heard my cries. A mental funeral that I can't bear to attend, a shattered soul within and a fractured mind that sins. I've lost that innocence that no one thinks about when the word is spoken. I've lost an imagination that was destroyed by the worlds cruel reality and it's sickening demise. Things that are supposed to be taken as special and sacred are simply none other than fucking while naked in this impure mind of my mines. But I know that an emotional attachment comes with giving my all to you. I'm sure you've figured that out by now too. That's the only explanation I have for your distant words, but such an explanation is to please my mind so that it feels better. So that I don't keep thinking that your distance is abandonment. So that I feel wanted and not needed, and that feeling of being mistreated will simply vanish. Somehow I manage to wake up every morning with only one disadvantage; attending the school you went to. Seeing the girl who claimed she loved you and watching her stare and analyze the actions I take, contemplating the things she didn't do. Her insecurities were written all over her face. She must've misplaced them while trying to finish a race she wasn't meant to win. But I suppose I've gotten off topic. Why do you always provoke me then stop it? I want every part of you, I guess you know better than I do that there's a price to pay when it comes to fucking with you.