Shoulders

Chapter Seventeen- It's not fair!

Courtney's POV
Amber was still asleep, so I woke her, like Joel had requested. She had to get there fast. I still couldn't believe it. A week before, they had both been fine, and now, Katie had been stillborn. The cord had been wrapped around her neck, and it had cut off the blood flow. Amber had grabbed a jacket, and put her shoes on. I left a note for Luke on the fridge, telling him to call me when he got up. Amber was still half asleep, so she nearly walked into the door frame, so I gently guided her out the door. The car ride there was silent, and when we pulled up, I turned to her.
"Amber, there's something that you need to know before we head in."

Amber's POV
By now, I was pretty much awake, and I was excited. I noticed that Courtney had brought her camera, and then, we pulled up, and she turned to me, no smiles.
"Amber, there's something that you need to know before we head in." I looked at her, confused.
"Hey, Amber, your dad told me to tell you this, so...Anyways, this isn't easy. Your mom especially is going to need your help. Amber, Katie, she- she was stillborn. She died before she was born." I doubled over, crying and feeling like I had been punched in the stomach. Katie was- dead?! How was this even remotely fair?! Courtney hugged me, and after a couple minutes, I took a shaky breath, and I got out, and we headed in. At the front desk, the nurse asked the last name of who we were going to visit, and where they were.
"Smallbone. She's in maternity." The nurse hit a couple keys, and she gave us stickers with the date and time that we came, and directed us to her room. We got there, and I knocked gently, but loud enough that they could hear.
"Come in!" I heard dad say, faintly, so I opened the door and went on in, letting Courtney come in behind me. Mom was the first to see me, and she smiled, and I went over, hugging her gently. She was holding Katie, and dad had Kaia, who was being cooed over by Courtney. Then, her phone rang, startling Kaia, and she started to cry. I chuckled slightly, and I asked mom if I could hold Kaia. She nodded, so I went over, and dad handed her over. I walked around a little bit, gently bouncing her, and she stopped crying and fell asleep. Dad looked impressed, and mom was slightly laughing.

"Okay, you're going to have to teach me how to do that." We laughed, and Kaia waved her hand around in the air.
"I'm not sure how much I can teach you. Some people are comfortable with babies, and babies are comfortable with them." Mom laughed gently.
"Yes, I guess that's true." Courtney came over, and stole Kaia from me, and I went back over to mom. I looked at Katie, who just looked like she was asleep, but I knew she wasn't. I sat down on the couch beside her bed, and I started to cry a little bit again. Dad came over, sitting beside me, and he put an arm around me, hugging me, and I saw his eyes were a little red was well. After a couple minutes, Kaia started crying again, and dad took Katie, and mom took Kaia to feed her.

"Oh, I kind of forgot to tell you, but Luke's on his way over. He left Jude at our neighbor's house, and headed over. I'm gonna go meet him, since he doesn't know yet." Mom nodded gently, and Courtney set her camera down, heading out. There was an awkward silence, and Kaia didn't eat much, surprisingly. Mom chuckled.
"I interrupted her a couple minutes before you knocked, because she had fallen asleep." I chuckled, and I reached for my phone.
"Conor asked for pictures. May I?" Mom laughed gently.
"You don't have to ask. There will be a whole lot of pictures taken within the next couple of days." After a couple minutes, I had four pictures, and I sent them to him.
"I asked Courtney if she could get some pictures of the five of us while she's here." I nodded.
"I was thinking about it, and Joy is an appropriate name for her. She will always have joy, because she will always be in His presence." Mom smiled.
"I hadn't really thought about that. That is pretty accurate." Then another knock on the door came.
"Come in!" Dad called, and Luke came in, ducking his head in the doorway, but he didn't duck going through the curtain near the door, and his forehead an the bar connected. He rubbed his head, ducking this time, and came in.
"How about look where you're going next time?" He laughed, but there was pain in his eyes. I went over to mom, who was holding Katie again, and I put my arm around her, gently taking Katie's hand, and I put my head on her shoulder, and mom put her head close to mine. I was tearing up, and I heard clicking, and I saw Courtney with her camera out. She came over, and she showed us the picture. Mom smiled, and then dad did something similar with mom. We did one of me holding her, then mom, then dad. We did a few more, but it was a blur. Conor texted me, so I responded to that, and we talked for a couple minutes.

C- Hey, they're so cute!
A- thx.
C- something wrong? Your dad looked a little upset in the pic?
A- yeah, he is. We all are. Katie Joy Smallbone, born and died March 5, 2015. She was stillborn.
C- I'm sorry.
A- joy is an accurate name though
C- yeah. How's Kaia?
A- she's okay. Mom's fine, but she's really sad.
C- understandable. Got a class in fifteen. Should I tell Hanna? She's coming to the concert with me and her older brother.
A- yeah. Thanks. See u there.
C- love you. Bye.

It took a double take, and then I saw what he'd said. Love you, with a heart. I chuckled.
"Guess I'm not the only one who feels that way." I thought to myself. Luke, Courtney, and I stayed most of the day, and then we had to leave, since there was one last meeting. Mom would be coming home two days before the surgery, so Courtney was going to take me home after the surgery, and then we'd have the tour, but I'd miss the first performance, since it was three days after my surgery, so mom and I would be driving to Frankfort, Kentucky after the surgery, and we'd join a few days late. Mom and I had a couple minutes alone right before I left, so we talked a little.

"You okay?" I asked quietly, and she smiled.
"I can honestly say that yes, I'm okay. I'm a little sore, but.." We laughed quietly at that.
"No, but really. I guess that God has given me peace, by knowing she's in heaven. I mean, yes, im sad that I lost another child, but I do have a peace about it." Then, I had to leave, and I hugged her an dad, kissed the babies, and left. As we drove home, I prayed silently.
"God, please give me peace about this, like you have mom. I trust you, but my life stinks. I don't know how to have peace, even under circumstances like this, so please, God. Help me." As we got home, I felt a little happier and less stressful. I smiled, raising my eyes to the sky.
"Thank you, God, for the peace you give."

Author's note- I hope that was a little happier? I'm trying, truly, but, like Amber, my life stinks right now. I'm also trying to have peace, but it's hard. Thank you all for your support in this story, my little marshmallows!! I love you guys!!