Lust

Chapter 10

Here you go! I hope you forgive me for taking so long. I feel really bad and I have no excuses :(  I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways and leave me your thoughts. I'll most likely update faster if you do enjoy them. It's short but that's where I felt like the chapter should end. The next one will be much longer. :)  Have a great day and stay safe where ever you are :* xx

Our eyes don’t meet, but I can feel them on me. Her piercing glare making me shiver with guilt. I feel like I've done something bad, like I've been caught in a devilish act that has me dreading our next interaction. I swallow the contents of my glass that has been refilled twice now and look at the smiling man in front of me. He’s a stranger to my feelings, I don’t feel happy, sad, excited not even the little nervous butterflies as I look at him. My vision becomes distorted and I smile politely at the waitress the quickly refills my awaiting glass. 

“I’m really glad you came today Kimberley.” He gently places his hand on top of mine that is resting on the table. 

“Yea, thank you for inviting me Justin. It’s really sweet of you.” I look down at our hands; he intertwines our fingers, squeezing at my effortless hold. My stomach twists in guilt. I will never feel the same feelings in him as he has towards me. He will never live up to my expectations. He will never smile the right way or hold me the right way. He will never kiss me the right way, touch me in the right places and make me smile just by being him. He will never kiss me at the right moments and make me laugh at the times at need them most. And that’s not his fault because he isn't her. 

“I hope we can do this another time.” I look up at him, his eyes filled with hope and joy. I smile because he’s sweet and sweet is all he is to me. I feel her eyes on me again and before I can even stop myself, I look towards her direction. Her attention on our hands, connected as one on top of the table, giving her a clear view of his thumb that slowly begins to massage the skin of my knuckles. I quickly stand on my feet, freeing my hand and think of an excuse at my sudden reaction. 

“I, uh have to go to the rest room, I’ll be back.” 

“Okay, but I think they’re about to take our order. Don’t you want to wait.” 

“No, Its fine. Just…. I’ll have what you’re having.”  I don’t wait for his response, walking to the side of the restaurant where I spot the rest room sign. I look back as I walk and suddenly feel a wave of anger rush though my body, pumping through my blood and causing me to scratch at my own skin. He smirks, his devilish eyes scanning her body like a prize to be won. His voice makes my stomach twist in disgust. She smiles her beautiful smile, his blind eyes never noticing the sparkle that slowly fades when he gives his full attention to his phone instead of her. I turn into a narrow hallway, cutting off my view and feel the buzz from the wine start to give me rash ideas about somehow escaping this nightmare I’m in. I lean on the sink, rubbing my forehead with my damp fingers, trying to figure out what the hell is happening to me. I stand there for a couple minutes deciding whether I should confront her or not. And what am I going to say? I can’t say anything because I’m nothing to her. 

“So when were you going to tell us you have a boyfriend?” I jump at her sudden harsh tone, my head quickly turning to the direction of her voice. She’s leaning against the door, her hands on the lock of the handle as her eyes look for mine. 

“I could ask you the same question.” I don’t deny her assumption because I want her to feel what I’m feeling. Jealously is a funny thing.    

“You lied to us.”

“What do you mean? I lied to you? What about you? What are you doing here with him?”

“Why do you care?”

“I've told you what I feel about Ashley. You’re just hurting your self more by being here with him.” 

She scoffs and lets out a sarcastic sigh of relief.

“Why thank you for thinking of me feelings Kimberley. It would have spared so much hurt if I didn't come here today. And by the way, he confessed to all the affairs. Every single one of them. You were right, he is an asshole. Are you happy now? I hate him, that’s what you wanted didn't you?”

 Her eyes are glistening with tears and I reach out for her but it’s too late, leaving a stab of  sweet perfume in the air as she runs out the door. I’m stunted and confused at what I'm meant to do. I realize suddenly that I should be chancing after her. I come to my senses and rush out the door. I look towards the direction of their table. She’s not there anymore. Her chair is empty along with her bag. He’s on the phone, smiling as he speaks into the devise that he obviously finds more appealing than her. I rush out the door, hoping to find her sat out side waiting for a ride. But it’s too late, as I watch her luxury car pulling out of the drive way and into the dark city that suddenly looks less and less glamorous as the days pass that I’ve met the Geordie.  

I suddenly feel a piercing pain spread across my forehead. It’s like a wildfire, wrapping around my skull and burning my train of thought that suddenly doesn't exist anymore.

“Kimberley!?” He catches me, his arms wrapping around my waist before I hit the hard concrete of the floor. The fire burns in my head, the flames increasing in size and I squeeze my eyes as it takes over my body. 

“Ughh!” I hold my head, moaning in pain as I pray for it to stop. He sits on the floor and lays me on his lap, holding me close as I hear him talking. I can’t make out his words. His voice burns into the fire that is my piercing pain. And I feel myself drifting off into darkness. 

The pain suddenly stops but I’m not awake. I can’t feel a thing as if I suddenly drifted off into a sleep that I can’t control. I see a blaze of color now and I know I’m not awake. I’m dreaming, flowers in every corner, red roses in silver bowls and soft white silk flowing in the distance. Then I see her, She has a beauty that endured and a smile that was not forgotten. She grabs my hand, pulling me toward a lake that suddenly appears in front of us. The water of the clearest blues that brings out her eyes in the most beautiful way, a mixture of reds and browns, complimenting her deep gorgeous dimples, making my heart melt in complete awe. She’s giggling in happiness, tugging on my clothes as she takes off her own. She pulls me into her arms, whispering into my ear as she traces over the length of my spine with pure lust. 

“Come with me Kimberley, lets go away together. Just you and me. It could be just you and me, Kimberley.” 

Her voice is scarcely above a whisper. The space around me suddenly turns dark, and I see her slowly start to drift away. I reach out for her but she’s too far away. The bright roses, the beautiful silk and the clear waters drifting into darkness along with her and suddenly I feel absolutely nothing.