Lust

Chapter 12

It's just me and my mum for the rest of the day. The other's being forced to go to work as reality calls them back into their normal lives. It's starting to get dark outside and I feel mentally drained. While my mum spent most of her time talking, upcoming store products, family gossip, and just any random thing that popped into her head, I spent my day lost in my laptop; Occasionally agreeing to what ever my mum was going on about. I had been curious on what exactly was going on in my head, all pun intended, and all I ended up doing was scaring myself. This tumor, it can end my life. How alien it is to think like this. How this can actually be my last year, and I haven't even started living yet.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like me to keep you company sweetie? I don't mind." I place my laptop to the side looking up at the bags underneath her eyes that tell me different. Her hair is in a pony tail, just like it use to be whenever she came to the hospital. She seems to have changed, and it scares me how I see different in her. She speaks the same way, she smiles regularly, and she treats me as if we are at home. But she doesn't look healthy; her cheeks are pale, dark circles under her eyes, heavy eye lids and that fake smile. It scares me how in just one week, I can ruin my mums whole being.

She pulls up a chair, keeping herself busy by cleaning the table beside my bed. That table has been cleaned far too many times.

"Mum, why can't I just go home now, I feel fine."

"The Doctor says he wants to keep an eye on you. I asked Doctor Phil for his opinion and he agrees that you should stay another night. You can come home in the morning. It's not that bad here."

"So I have an option?"

"Stay in that bed. I don't want you making things so difficult." My eyes roll in time with her change in mood. She pulls the blankets to my waist, placing the laptop on my lap and movies to my side.

"It's settled then, I'll sit right here and we can watch movies together." She runs the DVD's in her hand, deciding on a movie. I take them out of her grasp, deciding against her plans.

"It's fine mum, Sarah said she'll be here after work, go home and get some sleep, you look tired." Her sad eyes scan my face, trying to read my expression for any form of hesitation

.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. Tell the others not to worry so much. I guess I'll be home in the morning." Her arms wrap around my neck. She's trembling, her lips kissing my cheek, she hides behind her smile but her eyes are as terrified as mine.

"Call me if you need anything. I'll keep my phone on me. And call me if you wa-"

"Mum, go on, nothings going to happen." She forces a smile, kissing my forehead, saying our 'I love yous' before she grabs her things and leaves the room.

....

Brain tumor, the name repeats over and over again. Can this be as scary as it sounds? My laptop wakes up, the picture of me and Sarah popping out in the background. It's one of us when we went to an amusement park. She's holding an ice cream in her hand and holding my waist with the other. We look happy, my smile is genuine and I can spot the scar on my neck. It was fresh, a think line of dark skin that seemed to pop out above my skin. The excitement of surviving the surgery giving us both a reason to seek adventure, because it was finally over, or at least I thought it was.

I grab my phone on the little table beside me, scrolling down to Sarah's number and opening a new message.

-I'm thinking I'm just going to go to bed. You don't have to drop by anymore. I'll see you tomorrow.xx