Relapse (Phan)

ELEVEN

Three days.

Three days.

Three days.

It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't get those two words out of my head.

Three days.

Dan's audition was in three days.

Three days.

I couldn't go on like this.

"Hey Paloma?" I leaned on the counter where she was mindlessly doodling on receipt paper.

"Yeah?" she replied, glancing up at me.

"Can we, uh, talk about something?" I asked, chewing my bottom lip.

"Yeah, 'course!" she said, "Something wrong?"

"Kinda."

"What is it?" she ruffled her brow.

"It's about Jason," I admitted, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh my God, did something happen?" her eyes widened, worried, "Did he do something to you?"

"No, no, nothing like that," I reassured her, "It's just—" my voice trailed off, but she nodded, understanding.

"Having second thoughts?" she looked at me sympathetically.

"I dunno," I shrugged, "I mean, I really, really like him."

"Then what's the deal?" she asked, "Spill."

I sighed. "Remember that guy I told you about? The one I went to see in Manchester."

"Your ex?" She raised her eyebrows, "Yeah I remember."

"Well we've been talking some." I paused, thinking she might comment, but she just nodded to show she was listening. "Nothing, like, romantic or anything. Just catching up."

"And?"

"Well, see, he's an actor and, well, he got an audition." There was a pause. "In York."

"Oh," she replied, processing.

"Yeah," I said, "In three days."

"Oh."

"Yeah," I repeated.

"That's...complicated," she agreed, running her fingers through her blonde mane of hair.

"Tell me about it."

"Does Jason know?" she asked. "I don't mean about the audition I mean, just about him at all? That you guys still talk?"

"Well..." I cringed as images from the night before flashed through my mind.

I'd gone to Jason's house. I'd been going over there a lot since, well, since he became my boyfriend. I had been sitting on his sofa, cross-legged, wrapped in a blanket when he came in from the kitchen carrying two steaming mugs of coffee.

"Black?" I asked, taking the mug from him.

"Two sugars," he grinned, plopping down next to me.

"You know me so well," I winked at him, pecking his lips before taking a sip and settling into his arms.

"So, I don't wanna make things weird," he said, wrapping his arm around me, "but I have to know—"