Cowboys & Horses

Chapter 7

An awkward hush fell between us. I continued staring into the water, as if all my answers might be found in the fluid serenity before me. A solitary tear escaped my brimming eyes and rolled down my cheek.

After what seemed like an age, Brady eventually broke the silence. "Is that why you came out here?"

I shook my head, lifting my head to meet his gaze. I was surprised to see his chocolate eyes swimming with concern.

"I attempted to patch things up with him." I paused as I picked up a rock, and threw it into the water with a big splash. "Despite the fact they'd been having an affair for over three months."

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't." I held up a hand in a stop sign. "Please don't give me your sympathy. I don't need it."

He held his hands up in a surrender sign and fell silent.

For some reason, I found myself on a roll, telling him the ins and outs of it all. Maybe some part of me did need to talk it out with someone 'outside' of the situation, or perhaps I hoped he might ease up on me a bit.

"I needed help when I came out of hospital. I figured it was the least he could do considering he caused it, so he became my carer twenty-four seven. Unfortunately, that also gave him an opportunity to plead his case." I stopped and looked at the ripples fading on the water's surface. "Ten years together, that's a long time to throw away because of a three-month affair. That's what he kept clinging onto and eventually, he got his way. I agreed to try and make a go of it. He assured me he didn't love Alyssa, my sister, it was just a fling."

I hesitated, unsure whether he really wanted to listen to this or not. I became very aware of sounding like an idiot, doubting my reasons for being such a jumbled mess.

In a soft voice, he asked, "Did he then admit to loving her or something?"

I closed my eyes, the painful last argument we'd had playing out in my mind. "Alyssa announced she was pregnant two weeks ago." A few more tears released themselves, running down my pale cheeks. "The due date is the date Ben and I were supposed to get married. Talk about irony, huh?"

He let out a low whistle, and shuffled on the log.

"I completely lost it—that was the last straw. I couldn't cope with the thought of it. We had a massive row last week when I demanded he tell her to get rid of it." I paused and clasped my hands together. "We'd been trying for a baby for over a year. In the heat of the moment, he turned around and said at least my sister could have his children."

He raised his eyebrows and clenched his jaw. "What an absolute douche."

I nodded. "The worst bit is, I fell out with my best friend only a few hours before it all happened. She'd tried to tell me that Ben was seeing someone else and I just...blew up at her. I called her all the names under the sun and told her not to speak to me ever again. I went home and, well, the rest is history."

"Ouch. Does she know what's happened?"

"Yes. She sent me flowers and things whilst I was in hospital. It was still too sore to speak to her. The weeks have all kind of merged into a mess since, and now it's more a case of being too embarrassed. After I told Mum about our latest row last week, she called Zoe and organised for me to come out here. John is Zoe's uncle."

"Ah, I see. That's really good of her though. Surely that's enough for you to pick up the phone and speak to her again?"

I stood up to stretch my legs out. Running my hands through my hair, I fussed over stones and rocks on the bare earth. "I don't think you quite realise how much of a bitch I was to her. I..." Tears started falling again. "I need to figure out me and Ben first. One thing at once."