A Do Or Die Situation (Sequel to To Offset The Shakes) // Andy Hurley/Trohley

I See Fire (Varying POVs)

**Andy's POV**

"She did it again," I said, following Joe into our room. "She fucking did it again."

"Okay, well, in her defense, babe, self-harm isn't something you can just stop," Joe said sternly.

"I-I know," I sighed, sitting on the edge of our bed. "God, that sounded so bad. I know you can just stop doing it whenever, I just wasn't thinking."

"Babe, don't beat yourself up about this," Joe said, sitting next to me, holding my hand. 

"I'm trying not to, but you and I both know how it feels to do that to yourself. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, because I know how empty you have to be feeling to do that to yourself," I sighed again. 

Joe just looked at me with sad eyes, then rubbed small circles on my hand. I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder, "What do you think her nightmare was about?"

"I can tell you," Libbie said, scaring both Joe and I as she appeared in our bedroom doorway. 

I moved away from Joe, patting the bed between us. Libbie walked towards us and sat down. It took her a little while to start telling us what had happened, but once she did, she couldn't stop. She told us about her nightmare, the texts from Mackenzie, Halle, the ones to Gage. She told us how she'd been feeling these last twelve hours, how much she hated herself and had no reason not to. She told us how sorry she was for everything, for drinking, for smoking, for being a horrible daugh-

"Elizabeth," I stopped her. "Don't you dare say you're a terrible daughter. You're far from that."

"But I-I fucked up so many things," she said, resting her head on Joe's shoulder, wiping her eyes.

"Libbie, this is just a bump in the road," Joe said, putting his arm around her. "I know you're hurting right now, but the important thing is is that you realized that you did mess up. That takes maturity to see, hun, and I know you may not feel mature or even important right now, but I can tell you that you are. You're so mature for your age, even with these little things that happened. Everyone has these bumps in their life eventually, it's not just you," Joe continued. "Don't think for a second that, just because you're feeling down, you've turned everyone against you. That's not the case. Friends always have disagreements, some lasting longer, some shorter, but even if they never get worked out, both still go on and live their lives. And your father and I certainly aren't against you either. Hun, we love you, Summer loves you, Pete and Patrick love you! You've got all the love you need right here. Fuck your friends," he said, making Libbie laugh. "I know I'm not good with this 'parenting stuff,' but my point is is that even though things are feeling hopeless right now, they're not over and done with. If you truly feel sorry for what you did, you'll do everything in your power to make things right - but, you also have to give people like Mack and Halle and even Gage some space. You can work things out by having that mutual respect for each other. And, if your friends all truly respect and love you as well, they'll try to work things out, too. Everything heals in good time, you just have to fight through it."

**Libbie's POV** **WARNING: POSSIBLY TRIGGERING!**

After Joe talked to me, I felt a little better. Not completely, but a little; enough to get me through the day, hopefully. I knew they were trying to help me, and honestly, even in my state, that's all I wanted. I was never one to tell people I wanted (needed) their help, but with Joe and Andy, it was different. I've never trusted anyone as much as I trust them. I knew that with whatever I told them, they'd keep it to themselves and not tell a single soul, not even Pete and Patrick. That only made me trust them more. They didn't force me into counseling or anything like that (even though it was talked about at some point), they understood that that wouldn't help. Therapy is about every kid's nightmare, when people are telling you that you need to get help, but all you really want is a hug.

A short while later, I made my way back to my room, taking my place back on my bed. I picked my phone back up from the floor and looked at it, going back and reading the texts from Halle, even though it was a horrible idea.

Halle: "You're such a fuck up, Libbie."

Halle: "You should have stayed with your mom, maybe she'd be able to finally 'knock' some sense into you."

Halle: "She obviously didn't hit you hard enough."

Halle: "Oh and by the way, we all fucking know who your fag ass parents are."

That's when I froze. How did she know? The only person I told was Mack, and there's no way she would betray me like that. Right?

E: "Mack ... did you tell everyone who my parents are?"

Silence.

E: "Please answer me."

Silence.

M: "So what if I did?"

E: "Dude! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! Do you know what's going to happen to me now? Thanks a lot."

M: "What's going to happen to you? Bitch, what happened to me? What happened to Halle, to Gage? This whole mess is your damn fault, and I'm pretty sure none of us feel sorry for you, especially after what you did. Yeah, Gage fucked up too, but trust me, we're dealing with him too; it's not just you. You need to learn to grow the fuck up, Libbie. At this point, you might want to find some new friends, because we're done with you. You fucked up and you can't take it back."

E: "I did fuck up! I think we've established that. How many times do you want me to say I'm sorry? Even if I say it a thousand times, you and I both know that it won't be enough. I'm done with you guys too. I betrayed you, so I guess it's only fair you betray me, right? It's only fair that you ruin my school life by telling everyone who my parents are. At least I have two dads, you have fucking none, you bitch."

M: "Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to pull that card? So what if you have two dads? That doesn't make you special. And you only proved my point even more about how you need to grow up; you just pulled that 'You don't have a dad and I do!' card. Fucking mature, Libbie. How dare you make fun of how I don't have a father. He fucking died, you bitch. It was only three years ago, it felt like fucking yesterday! You're a fucking lowlife if you're going to say that shit. Don't fucking talk to me. I'm blocking you. See you never."

I just stared at my phone, knowing I couldn't/wouldn't reply. I started crying, knowing I had officially lost all my friends because of one little mistake. My phone fell out of my hands, bouncing onto the floor. I curled up in my blankets and cried harder than before. At that point, I missed my blade, I missed the way it felt as it dragged across my skin. I missed everything about it, the way it looked when the sunlight shining through my window hit it just right, the way my blood stuck to it, everything. 

I got up from my bed, rummaging through the other drawers in my bedside table. I found a pair of scissors and stared at them. I sat back on the edge of my bed and held them in my hands, starting to cry again. Without thinking, I ripped the bandages off that Joe had put on my arm and starting dragging the scissors on the same spot as the older ones. Some of them opened back up, and I created newer ones. I sat there crying, a little bit of blood dripping down my arm. I lifted up the right sleeve and put the scissors in my left hand. I did the same to my right wrist, crying just as hard. 

I threw the scissors down, falling to the floor, leaning against my bed and pulling my knees to my chest. I cried, not caring how loud I was. Blood was surely getting on my sweatshirt and pants, but I didn't care I didn't fucking care about anything anymore. I sat there, thinking about everything that had happened in just such a short amount of time. I thought about how maybe things would be better if I hadn't done what I did. Maybe things would be better if I wasn't here, who knows.

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OKAY IM SORRY FOR THIS CHAPTER AIUFVWOUFBOEWBF I SWEAR I LOVE YOU GUYS OKAY

anYWAY I SAW ALL TIME LOW FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS YEAR ON SATURDAY AND HOLY SHIT IT WAS SO GOOD AND I GOT ONE OF JACKS GUITAR PICKS AND IM STILL SCREAMING OKaY bYe