Chapter 1

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Hey this is my story and I'm known as Ray around here, I'm the only female reaper since i moved into town and I'm fearless like nothing can shake me and Clay let me join, Gemma is like my mom and Jax he has been my crush since forever but me and him will only ever be friends since Tara left and he got married to Wendy then divorced and she is having his baby anyway on with it.

So I was in my room at the clubhouse when I got a knock at my door and Tig walked in

"Hey princess we got church got another job we need you"

"Be right there ok"

He nodded and left I got up checked myself in the mirror and walked to church I sat in my usual seat getting a nod from Jackson and then clay began to talk

"So we have a shooting job and I need Rays expertise and whoever else we only need 3 people to go so only 2 more will do it" jax and Tig put up their hands and it turned out they got the job I walked out and jax grabbed my arm I turned to face him with concern on his face

"You don't have to shoot him I'll talk to clay"
"What no I can do this why wouldn't i I've shot and killed people with my bare hands before" I ripped my arm out of his grasp
"Because I know what it does to you, you feel the guilt of taking a life"
"Yeah maybe the first time but not anymore all I feel is empty" I say and walk off to get my guns that may have been harsh on him but I had to suppress my feelings for him somehow that now I don't feel at all.

We had just arrived to the lot of where the job will take place and the Mayans will be arriving soon so I grabbed my old rifle and went to a rooftop after smirking towards the 2 other reapers nosing we are getting revenge on the Mayans for whatever they did this time.

On the rooftop 3 Mayans made their way over to jax and tigs and my target was in the middle with my ear piece in to jax I told him I had lined the shot just waiting for his signal which was he scratched his nose, as soon as I saw the signal I shot the target through the head and his body falling lifeless to the ground, the others pulled guns and also need up dead so I walked straight to the van but once again I got dragged out and tigs got told to leave us to talk great.

"What now Jax"
"What now are you serious are you ok"
"Why do you care honestly"
"Because you are like my sister"
"Well yeah jax I am great perfect even I don't even feel when I take a life I'm just hollow inside so you know what..." I shake my head tears brimming trying to be strong i start to walk away knowing he's thinking I get to the bottom of a street and jax makes his way to my side cutting me off

"So what's going on with you" he said seriously
"You want to know so bad because I'm dying inside keeping this secret and I hate myself and you for keeping it"
"Well then tell me and why'd you hate me"
"Urgh fine jax I love you ok, I love you I've loved you since the day we met since the day you took me into the sons of anarchy how close we've come together with opie and the others and I hated seeing you upset about Tara and your son ok" I say and look at him tears falling down my face, he looks stunned but hides it with a serious face.

"Ray I .... Why would I love you I have my son I don't mean to be rude darling but Tara's back and we are kind of getting back together" he said trying to pull me into a hug but I pull back and he looks at me weirdly

"Don't jax it's hard to suppress these feelings so at the club or anywhere when you see me just don't talk to me ok or anything we are no longer friends I need my time to get over these feelings" I say wiping the tears on my cheek and walking away not to be followed and definitely not to be dragged back.

I got back to the club and saw jax already there cheeky fucker I bet he got one of the boys to pick him up, I walked straight in to my room and there was a note on my bed from Gemma

Hey baby girl,
We are having a family dinner tonight and your coming dress nice love you
Gemma xxx

I laughed and sat on my bed till once again I was disturbed Happy walked in to see if I could sort out some whores to get them to go home like I always did, what can I say it's my specialty to be a bitch. I walked into the bar and saw Jax with Tara on the sofa I turned my head when he looked at me and I grabbed an empty bottle from behind the bar looking at all the sluts and whores in the room, I smashed the bottle making it sharp and thought scare them then they will go

"Get out whores or im jamming this in all of your throats" I said some of them ran out scared and 3 stayed and the leader came up to me

"What are you going to do bitch kill me like others you've shot and gone to prison for least I make money by loving my body you cover yours with all that leather" by now I was pissed and in killing mode all the guys had stood up including jax as they all knew what I was like, Tara was with jax asking what was going to happen when I grabbed the girls hair tightly and when the other 2 were going to pounce at me I grabbed the bottle and threatened them knowing they would run, I dragged the girl by her hair outside and went towards my bike knowing I had an audience I turned my engine to my bike on and laid the bitch in front of my wheel

"Please please please I'm sorry please don't kill me" she begged

"Ray don't" jax yelled I saw Tara's petrified face and all the sorrow turned to anger I made my wheel spin shitting up the whore then told her to get up and never come back otherwise her face would hit my tire. I looked at everyone and everyone clapped except Jax, Tara and half sack then made my way to Gemma's knowing I had to speak to Clay hopefully I can leave town maybe help with a different club.

Speaking to Clay he has set something up with the Nevada crew so I'm off to Nevada time to say my goodbyes, I said goodbye to Gemma and Clay already and the rest of the crew getting them alone I had plenty of hugs but how am I suppose to get Jax alone without his Bitch. I looked over to jax who was looking at me and gave him a sign to follow me, once he got to the kitchen he broke the silence.

"Talking to me now"
"Not really just wanted to say goodbye"
"Why where are you going"
"Nevada for a while at least but don't worry to much I'll be back I always come back"
"I know I'll worry and miss you always have and I always will, I love you Ray more than Tara"
"As in what " I looked serious now wanting to hear them words deeply he didn't say anything and just kissed me when I pushed back I looked shocked
"Ok yes I love you I just didn't want to be bad for you but anyway going to Nevada is good change of scenery you should go and if you don't love someone else when you come back I'm here" he said and kissed me again.

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