Harry guides me to the elevator still holding my hand. After the elevator he lets go and I cannot but feel a little disappointed. You expected him to walk with you hand in hand? What? No. I don't know.
When the elevator reaches the topmost floor we get out of it, me following Harry. He opens the door of the rooftop and I can see now why he likes this place.
The sky is dark and filled with beautiful shining stars. I walk around the roof and stare at awe. The entire city can be seen. The lights of the towers and the cars passing on the roads. I never thought I could see something so breathtaking in the city. The light of the towers in the darks and the stars almost look the same. I let out a deep breathe. I turn around to look at Harry to find him just staring at me as I intake the beautiful view.
"Harry, this is beautiful." I say as he walks towards me.
"Yeah, I actually love this place."
"Hmm.." I mutter walking around.
"I come here whenever I'm not feeling okay. Everything about this place calms me down. The fresh air, the cold breeze." He explains.
"You're really poetic, huh? Didn't see that coming though." I say thinking about his words.
He comes here to calm himself. But why does he need to calm himself? I mean, what bothers him so much that he needs to go out for fresh air. And he doesn't even live here. How did he find this place? Where does he live? How often does he come here? I ask myself myriad of questions. All these questions are clouded in my head. I know I'm curious but there is something that he is hiding. Not about his past but his present.
"How often do you come here?" I ask him as we both sit on the ground.
"Actually, I used to live here with Ed. I left after I got a job and found myself a new apartment. I am the type of person who likes to live alone and spend time with myself." He explains without looking at me.
"Oh." That's all I could say.
"But it has changed for me in the last few days." He says so quietly that I could barely hear him. So I pretend like I didn't hear him.
"You didn't answer my question though." I tell him.
"What question?"
"Why did you come here today?"
"Honestly, I don't know. Today when I saw you in the morning I felt like the last thing you'd want is to be left alone. So, I thought why not give you some company. I don't have anything to do anyways." He says.
"You came here because you thought I didn't want to be left alone or because you didn't want to be alone?" I ask.
"Maybe both." He answers looking me in the eye.
"Maybe."
There is a long moment of silence. The silence isn't awkward. It's just a silence where you just intake the moment. I look at the sky and shiver when a cold breeze like Harry said flows. It is actually really comforting. I just wish I could forget everything and freeze this moment and stay right here forever.
"Do you believe in love?" I'm caught completely off guard by Harry's question. I cannot believe what I just heard. Did he just ask me if I believed in love? No. He couldn't have. Why would he ask that out of the blue? Why would he even want to know the answer.
"What?" I ask just to confirm I didn't hear his question wrong. He looks at me and I was already looking at him. He takes in the confused , mostly shocked features on my face and looks back away at a distance.
"Acting like you didn't hear isn't gonna change my question." I heard your question but I was just trying to reassure if you really wanted me to answer that.
"To answer your question, no" I answer blankly.
"What?" He asks shooting his head at me. Yeah, I know it might be hard to believe but no, I don't believe in love. Harry has a confused and somewhat a sad look all over his face. Why would he be sad if I don't believe in love? Maybe he wants you to believe in love my subconscious tells me. But, why would he want me to believe in love?
"Acting like you didn't hear isn't gonna change my answer." I tell him looking back at god knows where.
"I heard you but...um...I wanted to reassure that I didn't hear it wrong." He says hesitating.
"No, Harry. I don't believe in love." I reassure him.
There is a shit load of reasons for me to not believe in love. To me love is pain. Two people fall blindly in love with each other just to form deep scars on each other. They just hurt each other to a point where they cannot take the pain anymore.
"Why don't you believe in love?" Harry asks me.
"As a matter of fact, I used to believe in love. I used to believe in love even one year ago. But the events that took place in a span of a year changed my total insight of love and life." I explain. Why am I explaining this to Harry? I always find myself in such a position where I'm telling Harry about me without being able to know a single thing about him.
"Oh." That's all he says. I would've also said that if I was in his place.
"What about you? Do you believe in love?" Whatever this thing me and Harry have should be fair. We both should be able to know each other the exact same amount. The fact that I have opened up to him more than he has isn't helping it.
"Yes, I do believe in love but, I believe that love was not meant for me." He says.
"Why is that so?" I ask.
"I don't know. I just feel like love is not for me. I feel like I don't deserve to be loved." Once upon a time I used to think that was pure bullshit. I used to believe that everyone deserves to be loved. But not anymore.
"I guess we both do have something in common." I say.
"No we don't. We can't have anything in common." What? What does that even mean?
"Why?" I ask.
"Because-" he pauses then says
"If we collide, we'd explode."
YUSSSSHHHH!!!! HE FINALLY SAID THE GOD DAMN LINE!!! ULALALALA!!!!
Okk....now...I cried my eyes out seeing 1d's x factor performance. Don't worry lovelies they'll be back!
DHFAUFSJFSFS THEY CHANGED THE SINGLE TO "HISTORY" BEST DECISION EVERRRR!!!
Follow me on Twitter @hazzatonix and on instagram @hazzatonix_hazza.
Please vote and comment if you bcuz motivation af!
Love you all so fucking much!!! BYEEEEEEEEE!!! *wipes tears* we'll meet again.
- Dana
YOU ARE READING
Collide || H.S
Fanfiction"I don't know. I just feel like love is not for me. I feel like I don't deserve to be loved." Once upon a time I used to think that was pure bullshit. I used to believe that everyone deserves to be loved. But not anymore. "I guess we both do have so...
