Torture. That's all I can feel. My eyes are closed. When I open them it doesn't make any difference as all I see is black. There is no light. But I can still feel. And all I can feel is pain. Is it physical or mental pain? I cannot put a finger on it. I try to move but I can't. It feels like my hands are tied to something behind me. I try to look but there is no point as everything is just pitch black. I try to move my hands but I can't. What the hell is going on? Suddenly I hear a scream from the left side of me. I look at the left but all I see is a wall. The screams are coming from the other side of the wall. I wanna know what are the cause of the screams but I can't move. Damn. I look down on my lap. And all I see is blood. Blood covering up my lap. But where is the blood coming from? I look in front of me and see a body of a girl lying on the ground. Her chest......it's cut open.
I wake up screaming my lungs out. My face is covered with the tears I've just cried. I try to think straight but I can't. No.
Fuck.
It was another nightmare. These nightmares will never end, will it? I bring my knees close to my chest and hug them tight. I cry. That's all I can do right now. That's the only way. There is no way I'll be able to get rid of the pain.
People say to forget the past but they don't know that no matter how much we want to let go of the past it comes back to haunt us. My past has been haunting me for too long. I just can't take it anymore.
I look at the clock and it's 3 am. Fuck. I have to get up for work in four hours. I don't think I'll be able to sleep after that nightmare. I open the drawer of the night stand and take out a sleeping pill. Only way for me to sleep. I gulp it with water and lie down.
The part that actually sucks is that the nightmare was related to the person once I thought was everything to me. Creepy, eh? Think what I have to go through to bear the pain. My eyes flutter close and I pray not to have another nightmare.
I wake up just in time to get ready for work. Honestly don't feel like going to work but that's the only way to keep my mind off of things. Or else that nightmare would keep repeating in my head. That's the last think I want. I change and apply shit load of make up around my swollen and puffy eye take it look like I didn't cry. Fuck. It's not gonna work. I throw the concealer on the floor. Fuck my life. Why can't I just have a normal life? Why can't I just be happy? Why can't my fucking past leave me alone?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Tears start to make their way to my eyes. I can't cry. No. I will have to be strong. I will have to try my best to move on. I will have to fake a smile. I wipe my eyes and pick up the concealer and try my best to hide the fact that I was crying.
I drive to Amethyst and park my car. I walk in and settle down on my desk. I wish Thomas and jade good morning. After a while Harry and Steve walks in together.
"It's finally Friday." Steve says.
It's Friday? Already? I didn't really notice how fast the time flew by. Honestly I'm not really happy about it because if I have a nightmare again tonight I will have to spend home alone with my thoughts. And my thoughts can go to dark places sometimes. All the time my stupid subconscious reminds me.
"Yeah. This week has been really tiring." Jade sighs.
"Why so?" I ask her.
"Family, relatives and all that shit." Oh. I wouldn't know because I don't have one.
Niall walks in and takes a settles himself. His desk is two desks away from mine.
"So are you guys going to the party tonight?" Niall asks.
"What party?" I ask.
"It's not a party actually. We all will just hangout at Niall's place with some other friends. We do this every once in a while." Harry explains.
"Oh." I say.
"I'm in." Steve says.
"Me too, bro." Thomas says.
"I can't. My Aunts are here to visit so I can't really leave them alone even though I want to. I'm sorry guys. Don't have too much fun." Jade says.
"I don't know, man. I have some work to do. I'll see if I can come. I'll try my best to." Harry explains.
We all turn around to get back to our work.
"Natalie, are you coming?" Niall asks.
"I don't know." You know what Niall, I'd love to but I had a fucked up dream last night and I don't think I can pretend to be having fun.
"You should come. It'll be fun." He says.
"I'll try." I answer shortly and go back to my work. All this time I could feel Harry's gaze on me.
"Psst." Steve whispers.
"What?" I ask.
"Looks like Niall has a crushie wushie on you." He whispers.
"What? No he doesn't." I try my best not to raise my voice.
"Yes, he doesn't."
"No, he doesn't."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Guys, shush it!" Jade exclaims.
"Hah! I win." I say Steve throwing a piece of paper at him.
"You win what?" Harry asks.
"Um, nothing." I reply.
"Whatever you say, Nat Nat."
"God! Stop calling me that. It's weird." I say.
"Okay, Nat Nat."
I groan and turn back to my work.
When I look at the clock it's already 4 pm. Woah. That was fast. It feels like we just had lunch where Harry was bragging about his juggling skills.
I pack up my things and bid everyone goodbye and start to walk away.
"Hey." I look around to see Niall.
"Hey Niall. Um, what is it?"
He hands me a piece of paper "Here's my number. Call me and let me know if you are coming."
"Niall, I don't think I'll come today. I'm not feeling really well. Maybe some other time?"
"Oh. Okay." He frowns.
"Thanks for the number though. Bye."
"Call me anytime. Bye." I wave Niall goodbye.
I drive home. I take a shower letting the warm water soothe my skin. I change into my pajamas. I make myself a cup of coffee and then I open my laptop. I mail a few clients and get a few work done. I make myself some pasta for dinner. I take the remote and turn the television on and make myself comfortable.
Halfway through my dinner I hear a knock on my door. Who can be here this late at night. I put my dinner aside and check who it is through the door chain. I open the door to see the person I would never expect to.
Ok...This was a long ass chapter. My fingers. AHHHHHHH.
Anyways, I hope you all are enjoying the book. I just watched one direction on Alan Carr before writing this and the interview was so funny!
Harry Harry give me some of your gravy! LOLOLOLOL!!!
Please vote and share your thoughts on the book!
Love you all so fucking much ok. Bye.
-Dana
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Collide || H.S
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