18. Thinking.

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18. Thinking.

Skyler's Pov.

*This is not funny, Skyler! Don't fuck with me like that!* Robyn snorted through the phone.

*I am not joking!*

*As if!* she exclaimed. *He did not say things like that and then run from you. Again!*

*Well, he obviously did!* I sighed. I had called Robyn about an hour after Marshall left and she just didn't want to believe me that Marshall really left after admitting that he didn't hate me nor was angry with me for some reason and thought that he wasn't good enough for me which was – of course – complete bullshit.

Robyn kept quiet for another minute before slowly saying, sounding very serious. *I swear to god the next time I see him, I will beat the shit out of him and make sure he comes to his senses again!*

I couldn't even laugh at Riri's words since I was way too depressed about the whole Marshall thing. I mean, what should I do now? Run after him, after even allowing him to bring me home just because he had a nice moment where he wasn't insulting me? Or should I try to move on like nothing ever happened between us? As if I was even able to do that...

A few moments passed before my best friend asked concerned. *Are you okay? I mean, obviously you're not, but, like, how bad is it? Should I cancel my shoot to come to you?*

*No, it's fine.* I mumbled. *You don't need to, I'll handle this.*

*Really?* she questioned. *If you need me I'll be there, you know that.*

*I know, thank you.* I slightly smiled. *But there is really no need to come, I'll figure something out.*

*Okay.* her voice was low and caring. *But I have to go now. Call me up if something's not alright or anything happens. Or if you just want to talk.*

*I will. Bye, and have fun!*

*Thanks, bitch.* she laughed. *Love ya.*

*Love ya too.* with that I hung up, feeling much better than I did before.

'And now?', I asked myself.

After I sighed loudly and thought about how dumb this is, I cracked up with laughter and shook my head. What the actually fuck is wrong with me? And with him?

I stood up, not exactly knowing why and began pacing the room up and down while fumbling around with the cell phone in my hands.

Feeling uneasy, my mind began to race. All the thoughts about I ever had about Marshall or which included him were now blowing up in my head again, all at once and I was goddamn confused.

It felt like nothing was making sense right now and I was growing more desperate every single second due to the thoughts in my head starting to wild out and somehow, I felt myself discussing my feelings for Marshall.

I noticed completely nothing else around me, not even that the sun already started to rise and the glittering light began to fill the room, coloring the white wall in light pink and orange.

I finally came to the conclusion that I had quite a lot of feelings for Marshall and that, to me, this was more important than any of the bad things he did to me, especially since he told me that he was truly sorry for it and it wasn't because of something I did.

How long was I already walking around, thinking about the same topic?

Suddenly I felt my feets starting to hurt. Why the fuck was I still wearing heels?
I put them off and threw them in a corner, away from me, before letting myself down on the couch and sighing for the – what felt like – hundredth time today.

But I just couldn't sit still. So I stood up again, not feeling any kind of tiredness. And again, I started to walk the room up and down.

What was Marshall doing right now? How was he feeling? Was he thinking of what happened? Will he be alright, thinking bullshit like he wasn't good enough for me? Should I call him and make sure he knew that this is not true? That he did is good enough for me? That he probably even was more than I deserved?

'Stop thinking, Skyler! ', I warned myself. But I just couldn't. The thoughts were hunting me and my concern grew; but this time I wasn't concerned about what happened to me, I was concerned about how Marshall took this.

Abruptly I stood still, turning to face the couch again where my phone was placed. I hurried over there and grabbed it, instantly looking for this one specific contact. And there it was.

Before clearly thinking I pressed the 'call' button and moments later I heard the famous peeps.

My heart was beating as fast as ever as I heard his raspy voice that at the moment sounded enormously worn out and unbelieving yet happy. *Skyler?*

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A/N: I hope you like it, even though it isn't very long. Please vote, comment and follow me.

skylermathers 




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