The Difference - Christian Leave

Sixteen

                                                               *a few weeks later*
     I had just finished cleaning up from dinner and was so ready to go to sleep.  I lazily stumbled to my bedroom and fell back on the comforter, bringing my hands up to my face and rubbing my eyes.
     My mom had come home as planned two weeks ago.  She never did find out about the time I spent with him, or that he had been at our house.  Life went on as normal.  Except for lots of extra text messages.  I changed the contact name to "Christina" and pretended0 it was a new friend I made at school when she checked my phone.  I informed Christian of this and so that he would only text about "appropriate" things. She bought it.  In fact, she didn't seem suspicious in the least.
     She came in to say goodnight while leaving a kiss on my forehead.  As she walked out, she shut my door behind her.  I put on my pajamas and turned off the light.  Then finally I collapsed into the pillows and pulled up the sheets to my chin.  Just as I was falling asleep I heard tapping.  I looked around my room and realized it was coming from my window.
     Without turning on my light I pulled back the covers reluctantly to see what the heck was going on.  And somehow I eventually made it to the spot where it sounded like the noise was coming from.  I pulled back the curtain, squinting a little.  Then I gasped. There, in the dark with his face pressed up against the glass, was Christian.  He looked like a sad little puppy out in the cold.  The street lamps reflected what looked like recent tears on his cheeks.
     I pushed the curtain back all the way and attempted to open the window quietly.  It squeaked horribly.  Christian watched me with none of his usual animation.  I didn't say anything because it seemed as if something was very wrong.  He got his dirty sneaker up on my windowsill and pulled himself through clumsily, falling on the floor.
     "Are you okay?" I asked, not being able to hold back my questions anymore. "No," he replied abruptly with a slight waver in his voice.  He took his right hand and wiped under his eyes, confirming my suspicions about the tears.  I sat down next to him on the floor and wrapped my arms around him, putting my forehead on his shoulder.  "What's the matter, Christian?" I asked softly.
     "My-" he stopped, swallowed and began again.  I pulled back to look at his face.  "My grandfather died today," he said, furrowing his brows with more tears running down his cheeks. "Ooh, honey I'm so sorry," I said.  I placed my head back on his shoulder and squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing his back with one hand.
     His grandfather was 89 years old and had been expected to pass away for a number of years.  Christian was not extremely close to him either, because he lived in another state.  But it still hurt.  It's so wrong to see him sad.  And out of all the people he could've come to see for comfort, he came to me.  His girlfriend of only two weeks.  I squeezed him still tighter, breathing in his wonderful scent.  I felt tears on my shoulder.  He pulled his head up.
     "So, I was wondering if I could sleep with you tonight because my family is being really annoying and smothering me," he said, with a slight chuckle.  I raised my eyebrows at him.  "NO NO, as in sleep in your bed, not-" "I knew what you meant," I said, laughing a little. "And sure, no problem."
     It didn't seem like the best idea but he needed something, and if that would make him happy, then so be it.  We both helped each other get up off the floor.  Then he took his sneakers off in the corner and I lead him over to the bed by grabbing his hand, since the only light in my bedroom was from the moon.  He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie so he didn't need pajamas. 
     I got under the covers first and Christian followed behind me.  I faced away from him and he put one arm over my side with his hand resting above my stomach.  He was very warm against me.  His breath was uneven and ruffled the hair next to my ear, tickling me.  A tingling feeling like before spread from my chest throughout my body just from being that close to him.  I tried to think about other things.  Anything other than the fact that he was right here next to me.  In my bed.  With his arm around me.
     After about fifteen minutes it became evident that neither one of us was going to be able to fall asleep.  I turned so that I faced him.  I could barely make out his face in the dark but I could see a slight gleam from his eyes.  Christian's hand moved to my waist as I reached out and ran my fingers over his cheek.  His skin was smooth, and still slightly damp.
     I looked at his lips, which I have not kissed since that day two weeks ago.  They were chapped as usual.  I wanted to taste them again.  I wonder if he has been feeling the same way about mine.  No, I'm sure he has bigger problems than thinking about kissing me.  Nonetheless, my fingers subconsciously made their way to his lips and when they touched them, Christian's breath hitched sharply.  "Sorry," he chuckled.  I was relieved he could giggle even with everything that was going on.  Maybe he needed a distraction.
     So I leaned in and kissed him, surprising him as he tensed a little.  But then he smiled, and so did I.  His lips were framiliar and warm.  I put my hands on both sides of his neck and continued to kiss him.  His grip on my waist tightened.  I ran my hands through his hair and pushed him off his side, so that he was on his back.  I moved my legs so that I was straddling his hips, with my knees pressing into the mattress.  I didn't know how or why I was being so forward, I was a bit surprised at myself but pleased.  The tingly sensation continued to spread from my chest.  His breath was minty and I bit his bottom lip as I pulled away.
     "Josephine," he said, with a hint of warning in his tone but slightly breathless.  "Christian," I replied, kissing down his jaw and onto his neck.  He always smells so nice and comforting.  "What are we doing?" he asked, concerned.  "What we want," I said, grabbing at the hem of his hoodie.  He helped me pull it over his head, while he was still lying down.  He didn't have anything on underneath it.  The moonlight reflected softly across his skin.
     I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest.  I waited.  He rested his hands on my back.  "I love you," I said so quietly it was barely a whisper.  There was a few moments of silence.  "I love you too," he said, rubbing circles with his thumbs.  I picked my head up and kissed him again.  He pawed the hem of my shirt and we pulled it over my head.  Christian erupted in his musical laughter.
     "DONUTS? YOU HAVE DONUTS ON YOUR BRA?" he asked incredulously.  "Yes, and if you have a problem with that you can just leave," I said, pointing to the door and laughing.  He giggled and his eyes twinkled.  Then his smile slowly faded.  He ran his hands over my stomach and up to my bra.  "You're so lovely," he said.  I blushed deeply.  "Ahah, thanks," I said, slightly uncomfortable.  No guy had ever seen me with my shirt off and it was a strange feeling to be so exposed. 
     I leaned down and kissed him again for a while.  While doing this, I traced my fingers around his ears and the tips of his hair.  I couldn't believe what I was doing.  What was even more unbelievable was where I thought this was going.  And my mom was in the house.  NO.  I couldn't think about that.  This was for Christian.
     I moved my hands down across his chest and followed my hands with kisses.  He giggled again, smiling.  Why did he have to be so damn cute?  This skin was even softer than his cheeks were.  I kissed him all the way down to the hem of his sweatpants.  I could feel the muscles in his stomach tense.  "Are we really gonna do this?" he asked, looking down at me with both nervousness and excitement in his voice.  "Yes," I said as I gripped the band of his sweatpants and pulled them off and over his feet.  He had white boxers on underneath.
    Christian sat up on his knees.  "So," he said, eyeing me.  "So," I said, leaning in to kiss him again.  He pushed me away gently.  "We can't do this," he said.  "Why?" I asked, with a little attitude.  "We don't have-" he paused, shrugging his shoulders.  "We don't have what?" I said.  "We don't have, like...you know...the stuff," he said, biting his lip to keep from laughing.  "The stuff...OH," I bent over with laughter.  "Yeah, actually you're right," I said.  "I guess we can't you know...then," he said.  He looked at me expectantly win his puppy dog eyes.  I pouted and hugged him, resting my head on his shoulder.  "I guess not," I said.  He rubbed my back with his rough hand.  "Darn it," he said.  "DARN IT?  How old are you, seven?" I asked teasingly, pulling away and giving him a playful push.  "Don't make fun of me, okay?" he said, smiling to himself. 
     "Can we sleep now, Christian?" I said, drowsily.  Since we couldn't do anything there was no point to staying up, we were both so tired.  "Yeah, yeah," he said, pulling back the covers.  We climbed under them for the second time that night.  This time I turned toward him right away and somehow he managed to wrap both his arms around me.  He kissed my nose.  "Goodnight, Josephine," he whispered.  "Goodnight, Christian," I said, snuggling my head in the crook of his neck.  And that is how we fell asleep, with the moonlight resting softly on our skin.

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SORRY IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN ;) but anyway this was not the best update but there's definite conflict coming up so that'll be exciting (hopefully).  Hope everybody had a good day