Because, Its Halal - muslim Romance #Wattys 2015#YourStoryIndia

Chapter 65 - Omar & Ayaat

"And in Sujood I found what I lost..."

"Are you sure it was him?" Fiza asks shocked.
"He wasn't driving" I say without making eye contact, pretending to do something.
"Then why are you blaming him?" She asks instantly.
"Why am I blamimg him? Fiza do you even know how I'm feeling right now. Do you really think I care about who I'm blaming?" I shout.
"Calm down Ayaat! He just fell asleep" Fiza panics.

It had been over two weeks since Omar confessed and a week since Fiza gave birth. Alot of things were happening and I wasn't in my mind.

I left the room after Omar told me everything and I didn't see his face after that. He tried calling me everyday and came to my mother's place after work but I wouldn't meet him. I didn't want to. He killed my Zaroon!

"Ayaat! Maybe I dont know what you feel, maybe I'll never know but atleast I know you're over reacting. He wasn't driving you cant blame him for Zaroon's accident" She says softly so the baby doesn't wake up.

"It was his fault, he's responsible Fiza!" I say surprised when I see her defending him.

"Ayaat! You know he loves you, if he wanted to..he would have never told you about it and you would have never known. You'd stay happily with him. Why would he jeprodize his happiness, his life, his love for something that happened long ago. He could have just let go, yet he told you because he knew how important it was for you to know, he knew what place Zaroon holds in your heart. He put his love in risk for your sake...and..I really dont think it was his fault" She says angrily then calms down.

I stay still, I knew she was making sense but I didn't want to accept it. I wanted to blame someone and Omar had accepted it was his fault so who better to blame than him?

I dont say a word and storm out of the room. I just wanted someone to say ' Yes Ayaat! You're right, it was his fault'

I put my head on the desk and begin to sob.
Why would all thid happen with me?
What was Allah trying to teach me?

Was I really over reacting?
Didn't I have the right to be angry over Zaroon's death?
Why wasn't anyone understanding my point of view??

My mind was already confused with the things going on and if that was not enough to annoy me Omar kept calling.

I disconnected it a dozen times and then switched it off for so long but as soon as I'd switch it on again he'd call.

I didn't know what to do, So I just sat down on the prayer mat and prayed to Allah to show me the right path.

Fiza's words echoed all around me.

Why would he jeprodize his happiness.
He loves you.
For your sake.
Not his fault.

I finally decided to call him and talk to him about it, clear out the air and maybe...just maybe...be happy again.

I hear a knock on my door and get up from the mat to open it, it was Fiza with a towel.

"Ammi said you left it in her room" She hands it over to me.
"Hmm" I take it and keep it on the bed.
"Ayaat!" She calls out.
"Fiza not now! Please I'm already very disturbed and...I cant listen to anymore stuff that would make me go crazy" I say and sit down again on the prayer mat.
"I'm not hear to give a speech or a lecture...I know you're going through alot and may Allah give you jannah for All your struggles. But I think all your worries and everything will dissappear when you just ask yourself one thing." She says very softly.
"What is it?" I ask really hoping it would solve all my problems.

"Do you love Omar?" She questions very casually.

I dont say anything because I didn't know the answer myself or maybe because I just didn't want to answer. I dont know!