Catts POV
I go straight to his house to end it all with him, no turning back Catt, you can do this.
I walk in to the open door, the smell all too familiar, I take exactly 8 steps into the living room, and take 3 steps to the right and open his door. His room green, he painted his fucking room the color of vomit while I left what the hell.
"Hey," I sit on the opposite side of him.
"Hey," the ending consonant lingering.. Shit what the hell do I say now...
I don't remember what happened after that in detail to be completely honest.. I wasn't at all prepared for the events and anxiety attacks that followed..
He walked out, unsure of whether he'd come back or not. I decides to leave him a note. I wrote how it was me, that I needed to stop hiding us from my parents and that he deserved better than this.. Not at all blaming him for how we were.. He doesn't need the truth.. He takes depression and sleep insomnia pills. He was incarcerated at 16 for fighting. He dropped out of highschool the next year because he didn't want to give up his phone. He needs me more than I ever needed him..
Thinking of what to say next, his door slams open.. He rustles through things below his bed thinking nothing of it, I keep writing.
"Don't bother, it'll all be over soon," I turn around to grab his arm, but he took off full sprint.. To this day, a year later.. Those words forever replay in my head.
I slip on my sandals and take off running. Screaming for him to stop. I chase him for four blocks before he can't run anymore. He's crying, wanting nonesense at me.. I do the only logical thing.. I hold him, but being uncaring to this poor broken soul my eyes set on slipping the knife out of his hand.. I throw it in the bushes.. He's to engulfed in his sobs to notice.. Now for the right hand, the chain. He grips it harder, saying "No, no I'll hang myself. You're all I have, nobody cares about me! I HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU!"
He has a history of doing this. All of his girlfriends experience this, thanks for the warning you guys.. Eventually.. I manage to calm him down enough, and sit this mess of a human on a rock, and we reasonably talk. He knows about Destiny. As hard as it is to say, I admit to not loving him anymore.. He won't let me leave.. He's convinced he can make me fall back in love with him. He begs for another chance, that it'll be so much better he promises.. Or his life ends if I leave.. I agree to stay.. Unwanting.. I hold myself together and kiss him goodnight and keep my smile.. I leave and go to Destinys. She opens her front door, and I immediately embrace her sobbing.. Apologizing that I couldn't do it and she shh's me.. Her parents are asleep. And she says "We can talk in my room okay?" I lift my head out of her shoulder nodding, and noticing her house is pitch black. She closes the door, and gently laves her hand in mine leading me through the house.
I
explain what happened, and she just shakes her head at what he's doing to me.. I apologize relentlessly, she hugs me again saying its all okay.. But her head is dropped a little lower, I didn't want to make her sad. She walks me out, and embraces me one last time, I say one month at the latest til' we can be together okay?.. I promise.. She shakes her head, and I go home. He messages Me once I'm home, I'm rude, and cold to him. One worded, he gets angry with me, "you know this isn't going to work if you don't try.." I don't want us to.
