Love Needs Expression (PART TWO) 1980's

Chapter 6

My little sister was softly crying to herself. She had never seen something so tragic, let alone dealt with something in front of her own eyes. I embraced her and she held on tight; she didn't want to watch to trucks go down the street.
" I'm scared," she said, her big brown eyes locked into mine.
" Me too," there was nothing else to say. I wasn't going to lie and say that everything was going to be fine.

I entered the hospital with my coat that blatantly hid any evidence that I was a celebrity in a public. But it was the point that I didn't care. All I wanted to do was see my father. " Yes, I am here to see my Dad. He should have been checked in in about twenty minutes?"
" Okay. Name?"
" Robert Pinaud."
" Oh yes, he checked into this room," the woman said, " Do you have relation to this man?"
" He's my father." I answered, nervously tapping my fingers on the woman's desk. " Come with me." she led me int o the hospital room.
And there he was, defibrillators on his chest, chords on his arms and a tube in his mouth.
It looked as if he we dead. Literally. When I touched him, his eyes opened.

" Jen?"
" Hey dad, it's me." I was on borderline, holding in my urges to let go. I had to be strong, " How are you feeling?"
" Not too good."
" Ma'am we are going to see what we can do, his heart may not be strong enough with the condition he is in already having a heart disease. Could you please step outside and take a seat?"
" Sure thing," I nearly whispered.
" Jeni," he yelled, looking as if he was having a hard time breathing, " If I do not come out alive, I want you to know that I love you. I always have. You have gotten so far in career, you put so much effort into everything and I have loved watching you grow into the most mature professional young lady I have met. Just like your mother. I'm so proud..of you and your sisters..." He didn't finish.
" I love you too dad." I forced a grin, in the silence. Everything seemed so depressing, and it was hard to keep anything happy. But I knew, I had to.

I waited and waited, in that lobby wiping tears from my eyes and looking at the clock. I pulled out my wallet, and took out the pictures. Pictures of back when I was a care free teenager who didn't care what went my way, I would let it stand a chance against me or bring me down. The first one was a picture of Michael and me; he was giving me a piggy back ride in front of his house in California. In the background was LaToya and Tito. Those were the best days, when our troubles were long gone. The other was the banquet photos. When I found out that I really did like Michael, and we were able to love eachother. It was that polyester periwinkle dress that just seemed so symbolic. That dress means so much to me, and so does Michael. Damn, I miss him.

These pictures, brought back smiles over my tears. It's good to look back at memories. It may be a temporary feeling of happiness but sometimes those are the best. I missed the greatness of being with him everyday; how we were so honest and loyal. But now that there's another girl in the way, what is there left? For me? I could be overthinking, I do still love him, but I feel like we've just grown apart. Maybe he has moved on. But maybe I should keep my hope.

I then found a picture of me and my dad; one when I was five with my mother and the other was when I turned sixteen. I knew how happy he was then, always smiling, cracking jokes. Then when mom passed, an absolute solemness showed up in his image and reputation. In all of us, but mostly dad.
The man who was in there examining came out, and he came to give me the news.
" Hes gone."
And my heart cracked in half, and my eyes became watery. " His heart wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry."
I nodded my head, wiping the tears from my eyes. " Thank you, for everything." I said.
" You father was saying to tell you to follow your steps and keep the faith and you'll find Michael. It was one of his last lines."
" Oh my God...." I said under my breath, " Well, thank you."
He smiled.