The One That Got Away

Chapter 7: The Kiss

"After school I need you to come dress shopping with me." I said to Pooh bear.

It was lunch time and we were out to Wendy's. She was fucking her Baconator up.

"Hoe, are you even listening? Seriously, I'm going to need your help."

My birthday was coming up in a week. A real bitch was about to be 16 and I was going to finally be able to get my restricts.

Pooh bear was already 16 and even though she needed a adult in the car to drive, she never did.

Her motto was fuck the police. All of my friends had a car except me and I was salty as hell but my sweet 16 was finally coming up and these hoes ain't about to be able to tell me nothing.

"Um yeah I'm coming." She said. When it came down to Pooh bear and food she ain't play.

I just ate my salad and strolled down my timeline on Instagram.

*-

Ms. Ericka was our Language Arts teachers and she assigned us to write a poem.

The only thing on my mind was Joshua. I couldn't focus on nothing at all and I was mad at myself for even liking him for real.

But that's my fault because I knew he was a little hoe from the get go. I still hadn't did Poohbear's dare to go with him for a month, and the way things were going I wasn't going to do it.

I picked up my pencil and wrote the first thing that came to my mind. She walked by and collected them.

"Okay so we are going to be sharing out our poems. Each and everybody will have a turn." She looked down, closed her eyes, and picked up a paper randomly. "Ashley." She smiled.

Ashley got up and read her poem. It was called If Heaven Had A Phone. It was good, I think, shit let me stop I was thinking about Joshua the whole time she was talking.

"Okay next" Ms.Ericka said "Danielle"

Now of all the people in this class, why the fuck she got to call on me? Damn !

I picked up my paper, cleared my throat, and began to read:

Have you ever felt ugly?
Well its not just a feeling
You really are

Fuck that bitch they call cupid
Love is for soft hoes
It won't make you feeling nothing,
Nothing but stupid

Basically what I'm saying is
Fuck you
And you're daddy
And you're momma
Love no one
Fuck the drama
And remember
As a wise man once said
"Fuck up them commas"

I smiled boldly proud of my work. I looked at Ms.Ericka's face to see her mouth wide open. "OUT. NOW!"

"Well damn, I don't get a good job or nothing." I laughed and walked out.

Shit, in my opinion I did good! I was standing outside reading over my poem when Ms. Mosley walked over to me. Damn what this old hoe want?

"I'm going to let that one slide." She said.

Damn I said that aloud. I really got to stop doing that. That was the second time.

"Yes Ms. Mosley." I cheesed flashing her a fake grin.

"Why does trouble always seem to follow you?"

"Um, I don't know. Go ask trouble." I don't got time for the dumb shit, not today.

"You can't keep acting the way you act just because of your situation at home."

My situation at home? "And what 'situation' would that be? I asked getting defensive.

"I know that your mother is on crack but you can't keep letting that be fuel to your fire. You have to--"

"Don't come up here acting like you know about me, my family, or what I go through. You would never understand my struggle. You would never know all those nights I yearned for my mother to stop doing what's she doing or how I wished my father would just spend a whole day with me but do I ever let that phase me? No, no I don't! I continue to grow and become who I am."

"Do you think I was always how I am now? I wasn't just born this strong independent black woman. You're not the only one that face struggles. Just know if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." She concluded with that and walked away.

*-

I was with Pooh bear and we were planning out things for my sweet 16. After what felt like years of shopping, we had finally found the perfect dress.

"So, why haven't you done my dare yet?" Jamie asked.

"Long story." I mumbled.

"Feel like talking about it?" She asked lowering her face to mine.

The truth was I did feel like talking about it, and I did. I told Jamie everything. Every little detail I just needed someone to listen to me at this point and I'm happy she was there with open ears.

*-

I was walking in the hallway when I saw Joshua. He was hugged up with a girl by the name of Diamond.

Well damn, he moves on fast. Moves on fast from what? We were never a thing. I had to keep reminding myself that.

He saw that I was looking at them too and he grabbed her face and did something he never did in all our time together.

He kissed her. He kissed her! I almost threw up in my mouth. I don't care. I don't even care. Or do I? Either way I would never show that it phased me.

When he and his new "girlfriend" I guess you could call her walked away I slipped an invitation in his locker. No matter how much I tried to deny it, the truth was I did want Joshua to be there.

*-

Song: I hate you I love you by gnash ft Olivia O'Brien
*One of my favorite songs ever