The One That Got Away

Chapter 8: My Father

Joshua POV

I was 9 years old when I first joined U.D.N. My dad was abusing my mother and I couldn't take the sounds of her screams nor her cries anymore.

After they had both gone to sleep I walked down stairs to get a knife. I crept as silently as I possibly could to my dad's side of the bed and right as I was about to stick the knife through his chest my mother woke up.

"Joshua... W-what are you doing?" She whispered.

"No stop it. Daddy was just playing with momma. Those were tears of laughter you heard." She whispered now crying. "Please,stop it!" She was now full on crying.

I couldn't risk the chance of my dad waking up so I crept back downstairs.
I was angry. Even at a young age I wasn't as stupid as my mother thought I was. Obviously I didn't buy that story. I just didn't understand why she was defending him.

I crept out of the house. It was now about 1 a'm. I just wanted to be anywhere, anywhere but in that house.

I came across the leader of a group known as U.D.N. I was told to stay away from him but apparently he was always looking for new recruits.

But for some reason I was drawn to him. To me a gang meant having a family. Something I didn't have. I had a mom and dad but not family and I yearned for people that really cared about me.

"Yo, I would like to join U.D.N." I said to him.

"And what's make you think you got what its take." He asked.

"Cause I ain't no scrub, that's why. And I'm young, I could carry on your business for generations to come." I said confidently.

At the time, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. I didn't know I was making the biggest mistake of my life. At just 9, I didn't know I was making a decision I would regret forever.

"Ight son. I see you got mouth but do you got heart to back it up. I ain't goin make you kill nobody because you just 9, but I do want you to do a robbery with me." He smiled.

At first I thought that shit was joke but it hit me that this shit was serious.
Me and Spike grew closer. He taught me everything he knew. He was the closest thing I had to a dad and his mom was my mom. U.D.N was my family now.

When Spike died it was one of the worst days of my life. Not because I had lost my father figure, but because he left it all to me. At just age 13, I was the leader of something way bigger than me.

I had to tell men who were 40 years older then me what to do. Everyone respected me because of the respect Spike had. It all went to me now. I was U.D.N.

Every second of the day I have to constantly look over my shoulder. Afraid? Nahh. Cautios? Yeah. Sometimes I wish I would never have even joined U.D.N that night.

I could never ever get to close to any girl. Everything I get close to or really loves, gets hurts. I would never want my girlfriend to put her life in danger just to be with me so I have trained myself to never catch feelings, to jump from hoe to hoe.

Everything was fine until Danielle came along. She's the only girl I actually had feelings for. I won't allow myself to like her. I can't. That would be putting her life in danger.

*-

I called Black. He been my right hand since I started this shit. "I'm going to bring a nigga in but I don't want you to kill him right away. I want him to suffer for weeks, even months maybe."

"Damn, what the fuck this nigga did?" Black asked. He was the only person allowed to question me.

"Made my life a living hell. I been waiting to off this nigga forever. I don't mind waiting a Lil bit longer as long I get to see the nigga die slowly, painfully."

"Ight, no problem boss. Wait, but just one more question."

"Wassup?" I asked.

"Who this nigga is?"

"My father." I said