The Potters and the Chamber of Secrets (COMPLETED)

4. Gilderoy Lockhart = an idiot

 *Hannah's P.O.V*

 I was still mad at Harry and Ron for landing me in detention with them just because they didn't listen to me, but I felt sorry for Ron at breakfast. Ron stuck tape around his wand.

“Say it,” he mumbled “You’re doomed.”

 “You’re- you’re doomed,” Harry hesitated.

“Hi Harry, hi Hannah!” squeaked a voice and I looked up to a bright flash. I blinked a couple of times and saw a little boy, probably a first-year, with a camera and he wore a grin. “I’m Colin Creevy! I’m in Gryffindor too!”

 Errol landed (or fell) into the porridge bowl, with a red envelope in his beak. Ron stared at it in pure horror. I kept looking at him, then to the envelope - then back at him.

"Ron?" I asked, concerned. "Are you okay?"

 "Ron you'd better open it!" Neville urged suddenly "My Gran sent me one- I didn't open it and it was horrible."

"What is that?" Harry questioned Ron.

 "She sent me a howler..."he said faintly.

"Open it!" Neville said, his voice more urgent.

Shakily, Ron lifted the back of the envelope open. A voice that made the whole hall go deadly quiet spoke. It wasn't anyone in the room- it was the letter. I gaped at it, horrified.

"HOW DARE YOU RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL A CAR! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ASHAMED OF YOU IN MY LIFE! I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME WHEN HE READ THE LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE! HE'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU COULD HAVE GOT ALL OF YOU KILLED! YOU, HARRY AND HANNAH! IF YOU PUT ONE TOE OUT OF LINE, RONALD WEASLEY, YOU'RE COMING STRAIGHT HOME! WAIT 'TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

With that, the letter shredded itself into pieces over Ron's pumpkin juice. I glanced at Ginny's shocked face. Everyone was shocked and slowly, the usual buzz of talking started again.

                                                                                         ***

"Greenhouse three everybody!" called Professor Sprout

 "Greenhouse three?" I repeated, frowning "Ah I guess we're studying more complex, dangerous plants."

"That'll be great" Hermione said enthusiastically.

 "Professor Sprout, mind if I borrow Harry and Hannah for a while?" It was Lockhart. Professor Sprout's face clearly said that she'd very much mind, but she didn't state it. Lockhart grinned and closed the door.

"Oh Harry, Harry - Hannah..." he sighed. I glanced sideways at Harry, who looked confused like I was. "Gave you the bug didn't I? Flying a car to Hogwarts is the not the way to earn publicity, although I do understand that you want publicity after being on the front page of the Daily Prophet. I completely blame my self."

 "What?" I blurted out "Sir, it's not that-" He went on ranting. I stared at him, disgusted. "Bloody hell..."

Finally, he stopped and let us back into class.

"He's a right idiot," Harry muttered to me.

 "Tell me about it."

I took my place next to Hermione, infront of a pot and a pair of thick earmuffs. They looked like they were going to be able to drown out every single noise.

"Right class," Professor Sprout said, "today we'll be studying Mandrakes. Who can tell me what a Mandrake is?"

I shot my hand up at the same time as Hermione.

"Miss Potter."

 "Well, a Mandrake (also known as a Mandragora) is something that is useful to put people who have been cursed or transfigured or something back to their normal state."

Hermione looked slightly disappointed she didn't get to answer but she got her chance when the second question was asked: Who knows why Mandrakes are dangerous?"

 "Their cry is fatal to anyone who hears it."

 "Excellent 10 points each for Gryffindor. Since these Mandrakes are still young, their cries won’t kill you yet but they will knock you out for several hours. Okay put your earmuffs on, I’ll give you a thumbs up when it’s safe to remove them. Quickly.”

I put my earmuffs over my ears and immediately, all the sound was drowned out. She grabbed the top of the tree leaf and pulled it out. A face was on the tree- very ugly and it had arms and legs for roofs. It was screaming, but I couldn’t hear anything. She put it in the pot next to it and gave us a thumbs up. We took off our earmuffs.

“Now you’re going to try. First you must grasp your Mandrake and pull it up, then put it in the next pot and put plenty of soil in it. Earmuffs on!”  It was like I had gone deaf. Everyone pulled out their Mandrakes. Malfoy, like the idiot he is, put his finger in it’s mouth and got bitten. He scowled. I smirked as I put soil around the Mandrake.

                                                                                    ***

“Hello and I am your new defence against the dark arts-“ began Lockhart.

 “-git,” I muttered.

“I am Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, third class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming Smile Award.” I rolled my eyes. “Now, watch closely. It is my job to protect you from the foulest of wizard kind.” He flicked his wand.  “You might find yourself facing your worst fears in this room. I must ask you not to scream otherwise it might provoke them. “ He whipped the cloth off the cage and inside were Cornish Pixies. I yawned. “Let’s see what you make of them.”

There was a lot of screaming as the pixies tore the place apart.

“Bloody hell,” I swore, whipping my wand out. “IMMOBULUS!” The pixies floated around, still.

 “Why’s it always me?” sighed Neville from the chandelier.

Stupid, stupid, Gilderoy Lockhart.