Day 18
So Noah came yesterday to comfort me. I didn't want it but I really needed someone. No wants to be alone on Christmas. Well that's me and you know what? I'm done. I visited Becka yesterday when I got myself to get out of bed. I told her everything. But like ever other day she didn't answer. I just want someone to be there for me this Christmas. But that's not really happening for me.
Noah keeps texting me. It's really annoying. I look at his text. He said that he wanted to explain somethings to me. I didn't answer I just rolled my eyes. What ever. I made sure to lock my front door so no one can get in. I wanted to be alone this time. I wanted to get my head wrapped around so many things. Becka's family is a pain. Nick is married with a kid on the way. Noah and that girl who I learned name is Alyssa are back together. Austin is mute and won't talk to anybody. My family I barley see anymore but that's mostly my fault.
These next 7 days I just want to be alone. I am sitting on my couch in sweats and a sweat shirt with my hair in a pony tail and a blanket. With ice cream. Don't judge me. Almost everybody does this. I put on Christmas love stories. Why? Because I wanted to see what I have imagined all my life and then get angry and yell at the TV and then cry because I wanted to be in that girls position. Ugh! Why am I doing this? I don't even know.
"Zoey. Open the door." I hear. I don't listen. I just lay down on my comfortable couch and soon end up falling asleep.
Noah's P.O.V
Okay I know that Zoey is in. I don't want to press her because she's already more broken than she was before. So when she doesn't answer I walk away. I get to my car and drive back home. I open the door to find Alyssa sitting there watching TV. How did she? You know what I don't even wanna ask. "Alyssa what are you doing here?"
"Oh I came to see you and talk things out but you weren't here so I unlocked the door with your spare. She explains. She took my back up key. Okay she is officially crazy. "Alyssa. There's nothing to talk about. My friend has a lot going on right now and I need to be there for her." I state. "Her? Is it that Zoey girl?" I nod. "Yeah so can you please leave?" I ask.
"Why are you even caring about that bitch? Don't you care about me? I thought you loved me?" She says. I get mad. I walk up to her with dark blue eyes.
"No. I don't care about you. I don't love you. I love Zoey. I care about Zoey and if you ever call her a bitch again I promise you it will be the last time you ever talk." She looks scared. "Now get out of my face." I say. She nods and then hurries out. It's Christmas for gods sake! It doesn't feel like it! Nothing feels like Christmas to me anymore. Not since what happened with Zoey. I miss her. I want her but she hates me.
She shut everyone out. So did Austin. Becka is in a stable condition but if she falls out again then it's almost certain that she will die. Anyway. I sit on my couch and put on some movies. I soon fall asleep. Zoey how can I make it up to you?
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Okay this was meant to be this short. I'm serious. Lol but yeah. Anyway. I really hope your holiday is going well! I finally got on winter break today after school and boy I'm happy! Sooner updates brings a smile to my face. Hey that rhymed. Lol. As for the picture. I just thought it was really beautiful and pretty. Anyway. I hope you enjoy it! Love ya!
Stay strong,
~~Zenday92~~
