Lego House | ✓

3. connections

Vik watched as Kayla simply stared at her phone. The caller ID was one she hadn't seen in years— almost too long ago to remember whose it was. She picked up the phone.

"Jack, hey!"

Vik wanted to know who this "Jack" was. What if she was in a long-distance relationship and Jack was her boyfriend? That would be disappointing. He wanted Kayla to be his, not some other guy's who was miles away.

"Vik?" Kayla called, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

Vik left his thoughts and stared back at Kayla. "Oh, hi."

It had been nearly a month since she moved to Oakland. Over the course of thirty days, Kayla and Vik have started talking to each other more and getting to know each other better. They had become a lot more comfortable with talking, but only with each other. It seemed like they were turtles emerging from their hard shell once again, slowly but surely.

They walked in silence to their next class, English and the ambience irked at Kayla. It was eerily quiet and tense and something seemed off, something had changed. Kayla wasn't one to get involved in other people's business since everyone has their right to privacy, but something about the sudden shift couldn't leave her mind.

"Vik, what's up?" Kayla asked.

"I— I just," Vik stuttered, "just, just never mind." His brain fought for control against his heart. He really wanted to ask who was previously on the phone with her, but couldn't bring himself to ask such an intrusive and nosy question.

"Are you sure?" Kayla asked again.

Vik mumbled, "Yeah."

"Okay then," she responded, "I just got off of the phone with Jack. I haven't heard from him in years." She paused, noting the lack of response from Vik. "He's my brother, the one I told you left for uni."

Vik's eyes lit up. "That's great!"

Kayla smiled and admitted shyly, "I was afraid he forgot about his family."

She took notice of the change in attitude Vik just had.

***

March 13

Today things at school have been looking up. Jack called, can you believe it? It's been over a year since I've heard from him. He's now a sophomore. School isn't as much of a living hell as it once was back at Lakewood High. Everything here in Oakland seems alright, but it's only been a month or so.

The bruises are fading away. Slowly, but they're still disappearing. Dad and I have been getting along more. He's getting over his alcohol addiction, although I am very afraid that he will relapse. Every once in a while he'll get drunk, not really-really-violent-and-pounding-hangover-the-next-day-drunk, but I'm-only-a-little-drunk-and-probably-sober-enough-to-drive-drunk. We've been coping with Mom's death much better.

Anyways, I made a friend. His name is Vik, Victor Bonth. He's actually really sweet and nice, and kinda similar to me. We both don't like being in the center of attention and have an affinity to art, music, and the internet. Vik said that he had started making videos of video gameplay and uploading them to YouTube a while ago, as he's seen others do so.

I personally think that it's a great idea, especially for someone like Vik. It'd make him more confident. Vik suggested that I make speed art videos, which I wasn't very opposed to, but I know how rude and hateful opinions can be. I'm afraid of the comment section, basically.

I've read what they've said and many people don't understand: Words do hurt, ok? I'm terrified of other people's judgement. What if they don't like me and think that I'm weird? What if they think that my art is terrible and ugly?

People are always judging, sometimes without noticing. I'm guilty of this as well, but I tend to keep my thoughts to myself. When you see your new teacher in the new school year, you're judging them. When you look around the room, you're judging their decorative sense. When you look at their handwriting on the board, you're judging the style of their letters. It's sometimes subconscious, although, sharing your opinions isn't.

Fear of judgement is the only thing holding me back. Maybe I'll ask Vik to help me get over that, although I feel that he's also a bit afraid. His gameplay videos are great and everyone seems to like them for the most part. Of course, every once in a while there's that guy who has to dislike it, but overall, the feedback is positive, which I am proud of Vik for achieving.

Vik also suggested that I start posting on a blog or account of some sort. He said that I should share my photography. I started posting my pictures on Instagram and gained many followers. I also uploaded some pictures of my drawings and received a lot of support, a lot more than I expected.

I have to thank Vik, honestly. He's been helping rebuild myself since the all the destruction in Lakewood happened. It makes be think of those small, colorful, yet painful building blocks. Like he's helping me glue the shattered pieces back together or constructing a Lego house that got demolished by a monster— its demons. I don't know why, but it seems like he has nothing wrong in his life, which I know is definitely not the case.

It's been a while since someone was able to help me get back on my feet. However, Robert Frost speaks the truth and nothing gold can stay. I'm just waiting for everything to come crashing down at this point.