The 'Short' Story Of The Guy Who Doesn't Exist

Reason #1: Looks (or why I have to take a whole lot of selfies)

I'm just gonna be honest with you here, but I'm not too self-conscious about how I look. I show up to school with clothes that I wore yesterday, I don't always shave (its a pain in the... face), my hair just doesn't like to stay styled, and I think the main feature of me is that I'm a skyscraper.

6'2'' (about 188.5 cm, non-Americans *winkey-face*) before 18 years of age is quite odd, especially where I live. It's like, everybody was born on some planet with heavier gravity or more air pressure or something, causing their "shorterness" (yes, that is a word. Look it up at the same place in the dictionary as 'gullible' or 'imaginary'. I guarantee you you will find what you're looking for). That or I'm the result of genetic mutation or I'm a science experiment. But I'm not alone, thankfully... I've met tons of tall guys so I guess we're all related somehow.

Now you'd think one of the tallest guys of his age would be noticeable, right? Well, that's not exactly true in my case...
Let me explain: the doorframe knows I exist, because I've hit my head on it at least 20 times (I'm trying to set a record). The clothe companies know I exist because of my outrageous sizes I order from them.
All I'm asking for are some sweet T-shirts that have my favorite groups, video-games and quotes on them, but no... Those are only available for "smaller people"... It's a little irritating, if you can relate. I still feel guilty for stretching out that Star Wars shirt I found at Walmart.

Literally, anybody who sees me in public knows I exist. I'm like a celebrity when I'm walking down the street. People stare and point and whisper, some inconspicuously and some obviously.
Whenever I meet someone, they first shake my hand, tell me their name, and then walk up to me and compare heights. It's like the new "bro-fist" thing to me.
People actually shout at me from across the street asking how tall I am. I once got asked if I'd play Goliath in a play. Don't ask.

So, enough about height, and more about something you'll be more likely to relate to.
My face, in my perspective, is one of the healthiest. I rarely get pimples or zits, or the mother of unholy facial damage: zimples. They usually appear before some important life events of mine, and they usually appear on my nose, in between my eyebrows, or directly in my "shaving-path". Those last ones are painful.
I occasionally apply face cream, but I just think it makes my skin smoother. I'm not sure if its actually helping anything. But for long periods of time, I'm basically facially flawless. Maybe I'm born with it *or maybe its Maybelline!* (Okay, that joke's pretty dumb, I know. I just couldn't resist).
I don't have freckles, but I kinda wish I did. I find girls with a few freckles around their nose and cheeks very attractive. I doubt though, that it'd look attractive on me.
Another thing is shaving. I get advice from two different sides telling me to either shave everything off, or start wearing the newest style. Actually, I wouldn't mind the newest style, but I'm worried I'm gonna look like some District 1, rich, poshed up weirdo from the Hunger Games. (I'm totally a Kat-Pee).

With all these things, I'm actually quite noticeable. I'm infamous for ruining the group selfie or photobombing others. Everyday I manage to dodge 3 or 4, but I know my classmates are out to get me.
I certainly try to stand out, in a fashion sense at least. I consider myself the hipster who loves black and white. They're not really dedicated to other colors, where as gray is the perfect blend of both.
But I can't say I'm all colorless. I love blue, and when I was a dumb kid with no fashion sense, I loved cherry-red (those days are long-gone).

Crocheted scarves and winter hats in those colors fill my closet. I have more black shirts than I can count, and it seems the white shirts are always in danger of stains. I don't know what it is, but I can't stand having long sleeves down. It's like they were made for me to raise them up to my elbows.
Not getting me? Don't worry, I wouldn't blame you. Everybody has their own style. One tiny aspect of everyone's existence to other people is how they look.

Would you rather talk to a dirty looking, homeless man, or a wealthy and well-dressed business man? A poor, fat girl, or a gorgeous supermodel/actress? I'm basically preaching "Don't judge a book by its cover", but its much more than that, you know? Doesn't anybody realize that in just one moment, these examples of people could switch?
I mean, picture that homeless guy finds a job, shaves, becomes more successful and eventually looks basically like everybody else who "exists". That would change more than half of you feelings toward that person.
It's not really what somebody looks like that makes you feel a certain way, it's you yourself who compares yourself to them in positive and negative ways.

I think I'm starting to council myself (*sarcastic look of disgust*). Who knows, I might be good at it. Anyway, I'm boring myself here with my tangents so I'm going to get straight to the point.
Nobody notices my style, nobody really even cares. It's not the clothes that make someone exist. Every ad today says it is. Every celeb may say it is. Even your friends may say it is. But your popularity, or even existence doesn't grow because of clothes. (except Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus, because they basically wore bubbles and leftover plastic and got like tons of attention. Go figure.)
It's your personality. You can wear new, stylish clothes, you can get make-up and pedicures, but you can't get a new personality just like that.
*snaps fingers*
I'm not your motivational coach or anything, but you don't have to look nice to be nice. In the end, will you be remembered by your looks, or your life; your clothes or your choices?

I'm advertising philosophical advice like a car-dealing maniac here, aren't I? Great.

And by the way, just, don't go running about nude anywhere, I highly suggest against it.
And if you do, I have or had nothing to do with it.
However nakedness gets you more acknowledgement... Probably more negatively than positively. I'm not talking about celebs or anything like that, but more like those streakers in sport games. That stuff's hilarious.