The 'Short' Story Of The Guy Who Doesn't Exist

Reason #3: There really is no actual reason

Starting the chapter off with a mini-paradox, I don't know why I feel like I don't exist.
It's not that I'm shy, or that I'm unnoticeably noticeable...

It's just that I don't feel like I'm ever going to be remembered for anything... I have my talents: drawing, playing musical instruments, photography, math (even though that's a love-hate relationship).. I always want to be the one that stands out. The one that goes from the bottom to the top.

To be clear, I don't want to be famous. I want be remembered. Being famous means I'll have little time to enjoy my life as I'll be the one trying to influence others' lives. That's not such a great life. Not unless you can handle it, which in my opinion, I could not.
I want to be remembered for doing something. Not for being a cardboard cut-out of society, but being a complex impressionist painting. Not everybody is going to relate to me, but that's their problem and their  life. I'm an "out-of-order" teen. I'm not like the guys on TV or reality shows. I don't follow the status quota society places on me.
That makes being remembered complicated.
I at least want a Wikipedia page, no mater how small, describing my life's works and events.

Being remembered helps give a legacy and hope to others who live similarly. It inspires us to be like the one remembered, but also be original towards themselves.

But in my life, I'm usually the one behind everybody else, literally. I have to be the one who walks behind his group of friends when there's no room on the sidewalk.
I have the farthest seat from the board at school.
I stand at the very back when we do a group photo, just so there can be a balance between heights.
The only time I'm first is when we're lined up according to height (and when it comes to P.E. hour, that's not always the best thing).

I'm hipster too. Or, at least I consider myself to be. Maybe semi-hipster. I've described my hobbies and clothe styles so you decide. I love instrumental music, but I die for dubstep as well. I'm mainstream yet original at the same time. I'm usually the one who is in the first thousand views of a video on YouTube.
But I hate being too original. There's a limit of hipster everybody reaches.

I also have lots of friends, as I mentioned before. If you asked them, they could tell you more about me than I could. They know my existence is important. What they don't know is that I'm looking for another kind of existence.
I want to be remembered.
I want to be daring (my dream is to parachute, hanglide, paraglide, and all these other crazy things).
I want to meet people who feel the same.
I want a girl that will love me for both my existences.
I want a lot of things...
(Santa, if you're reading this, I just gave you an early Christmas wish list *winkey-face*)

I'm wanting all these things but I still don't believe that they'll come, at least all at once. I know to be patient. I'm okay with even one of these things coming to pass. But I want to live. Not exist.
I'm waiting for my metamorphosis into that handsome twenty-something-year-old guy that went from adorkable teen to stunning adult.
I don't think badly of myself as it is, and my life is and has more than I could ever ask for.

As of this moment I'm talking to you, I'm out of my comfort zone, yet at the same time I could confess anything without a care. Writing is easier than speaking. As the saying goes,"A book has thousands of words but the mouth only speaks hundreds." (I may have half-made that up, but its still wise, right?)
*another cheeky winkey-face*