Afterlife ↠ Argent [1]

28. Hurricane

"You know when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out," I say as I sit there in the counselors office, staring at the dark skinned woman. I was still stuck inside of Stiles' body and I was more than heart broken, so I here I was, pouring everything out. It felt good to talk to someone again; about my feelings, nevertheless. The only person I had was Allison, and I lost her. "It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding."

"And you've experienced this for yourself, Stiles?" the woman I learned as Ms. Morell says, cocking her head to the side slightly.

I scoff as I look down at the lacrosse stick in my hands, remembering the feeling of drowning all too well. "I guess you can say something like that."

"What happens after you let it in then?" she says, the sun reflecting off of her amber eyes.

I lick my lips slowly as I glance down at my arm, remembering that night Matt had shot Stiles. "When you let it in, it doesn't hurt any more. It's not scary anymore...it's actually kind of peaceful."

"Are you saying that you hope Matt felt some peace?" she says, causing my eyes to narrow. I hated hearing the sound of his name.

I tighten a strand on the stick as my knuckles turn white. "I don't feel sorry for him."

"Can you feel sorry for the nine year old Matt that drowned?"

"Not even the slightest," I groan before I remember something the Sheriff had told me--I mean, Stiles' father. "Did you know they actually found pictures of Allison on his laptop? He actually photoshopped himself into ones with her. Ones of them holding hands and kissing. It's disgusting."

My lips tighten into a straight line, remembering how I had felt after he had told me. After he did, I suddenly had wished that Matt didn't die, only because I wanted to be the one to end it for him. A part of me felt like shit for wanting something like that, but lately I haven't really been caring much.

"At least one good thing came out of this," she says as I look up, remembering that Stiles' father had gotten the Sheriff's badge back. I was glad for him, but not as glad as Stiles would have been.

"Yeah," I say as my voice fades, my eyes trailing down to the wound that was where I had been shot. "But it feels like the bad side of things is overpowering the good."

"Have you spoken to Scott lately?" she asks me as I shake my head, Scott being the last thing on my mind. I know that I'm stuck inside of Stiles' body, and he would have cared, but I'm not Stiles.

I mess around with the lacrosse stick again. "No, he's kind of been dealing with his own problems lately."

"What about Allison or Lydia?"

My eyes flick back up to her's, Allison's name sending mixed emotions within me. "Allison and I aren't exactly on good terms."

"Is it too much to ask what happened between the two of you?" she asks. "I didn't realize you and Allison were all that close."

I scoff, wishing I could tell her the full story. "Allison and I were more than close. For awhile I actually believed that we were becoming something more, but like everything else in this world, all good things come to an end."

"What came in between you?"

"Would it be too cliche to say that another guy did?" I say, Derek's face flashing though my mind. "After her mother died, she went off of the rails. A part of me thinks that she's still in there somewhere, deep past her regret and vengeance, but I know it'll be harder to get her back than what it sounds."