Love Him...Forever

Excuses

"Did something happen between you and him?" Monika asked.

"No," Shine lied.

"Then why is he so cold to you?"

"Don't be silly, Monika. Maybe he's just excited to see Nam and Javi more than me," Shine said with a smile.

You know she's right, Shine's inner voice muttered as she kept that smile plastered on her face.

"Maybe... but—" Monika stopped herself. She shook her head, clearing whatever negative thought tried to appear.

"Ah, never mind! If you say nothing happened, then I'll believe you. Plus—it's Yuzu. He could never get mad at a girl," Monika added as she slung an arm over Shine's shoulder.

Shine smiled again—a fake one.

That's all I can hope for... after I've hurt him. Again, her inner voice whispered sadly.

A tanned deliveryman suddenly walked up to their desk.

"Excuse me? Where is Mr. Hanyu?" he asked.

"Why?" Monika replied.

The man placed large and small boxes onto the counter. "I'm here to deliver these for him."

"I see. But he's inside, and we can't disturb them during practice—especially Yuzuru," Monika explained, pointing toward the rink. The deliveryman peeked inside, seeing skaters spinning and jumping.

"But I was instructed to give it directly to him," he insisted.

"How about this—you can leave everything here, and we'll give it to him later," Monika said firmly.

He finally agreed and had her sign as the recipient before leaving.

"Look at all these! His fans are really fanatics," Monika said, eyes wide.

"Many really love him, I guess," Shine murmured.

Ring. Ring.

Monika's phone lit up. "Excuse me—I have to take this," she said, stepping quickly to the back, clearly not wanting anyone to hear her conversation.

The moment she disappeared, Shine grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled a short message in Japanese:

Let's meet at that place. I'll be waiting.

She slipped the note into her pocket just as Monika returned.

"Sorry, my mother," Monika explained.

"Monika, maybe we should bring these inside now? So he can arrange them before leaving later," Shine suggested.

"Yes, good idea. It'll be harder when the rink gets crowded."

They carried the boxes inside.

"Ladies, what's that?" Coach Brian asked.

"Gifts for Yuzu, Coach. We'll put them in front of his locker so they aren't in the way," Monika explained.

"I see. Okay, but please do it quickly. I don't want the skaters distracted."

As he talked, Shine glanced toward the rink. Javi and Nam were looking at them with curious expressions.

"What's that?" Javi mouthed.

"Gifts," Shine mouthed back.

Nam tapped Yuzuru—who was with Kazumi, laughing or, in Shine's eyes, flirting. Nam pointed at Shine and Monika carrying the boxes. Yuzuru just smiled at whatever Nam said before going back to Kazumi, avoiding Shine's eyes completely.

After three trips, they finally finished stacking everything in front of Yuzuru's locker.

"Whew! That's the last of it. Let's go, Hana," Monika said, sighing in relief.

"Okay, let me just arrange this properly," Shine said—and quickly slipped her note inside one of the boxes.

Shine waited inside the greenhouse when her phone rang.

"Allen," she answered.

"Are you ready to leave? I'm on my way."

"I need to settle something first."

"By 'settle' you mean... talking to Yuzuru alone?"

"Yes. And don't worry, I've got everything under control. See you later."
She hung up before he could protest.

Shine turned—and saw Yuzuru entering the greenhouse. Her inner voice smiled painfully.

"I saw this," Yuzuru said coldly, holding up her message. "Why do you want to see me?"

Shine opened her mouth—but no words came out.

Talk, her inner voice commanded.

But the seriousness in Yuzuru's eyes froze her.

"If you're not going to talk, I'm leaving. Kazumi's waiting for me."
He turned to go.

"Why are you angry at me?" Shine finally asked.

You know why, her inner voice said—but Shine ignored it.

Yuzuru turned back and approached her, stopping at a safe distance—like he was forcing himself not to touch her.

But before he could answer, Shine's frustration exploded.

"If anyone should be angry, it's ME! First, you ignored me. Then you kissed me. Then you kept insisting I'm Shine. And now you're treating me coldly!?"

"I'm not angry. I'm embarrassed. For what I did. Now it's clear you're not her," Yuzuru said quietly. He paused.

Shine saw the pain he tried to hide. But she couldn't ease it—not without revealing everything.

"You know..." he continued, voice cracking slightly, "my Shine would never leave me like that. She would NEVER disappear without an explanation. She would never stand me up at the airport."

His words stabbed her. She couldn't defend herself—not without telling him the truth.

"I'm sorry about the kiss. And about being cold. I'm... just embarrassed to face you," he said, though the apology lacked sincerity.

Shine's expression made it obvious she wasn't buying it. Yuzuru noticed.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"Hana, what do you want to hear from me?" he asked in Nihongo, hands on hips.

Her inner voice screamed:
Why are you like this to me? Why Kazumi? Why all of this!?

But Shine said instead:

"Nothing. I just thought we could be honest. That we could be friends. But I guess not. After all, you're Yuzuru Hanyu—millions would die to be your friend. It was my mistake... for thinking I could be one of them."

Yuzuru's eyes softened, seeing her pain.

"See you tomorrow. Don't tell anyone about this," Shine said. Her tears were threatening to fall.

"Tell anyone? Who?" Yuzuru asked sarcastically.

Shine shot him a serious look.

"I won't," he said. "It'd just create misunderstandings. And I hate being misunderstood."

Her heart shattered at his tone. But she kept her expression steady.

"Great. Oh, and leave five minutes after me. People might misunderstand."
She turned and walked out, leaving Yuzuru alone in the greenhouse.