Listen to the song above "To move on" by Kithara
Today is the day that I hate the most and I wish to forget. I wanted to sleep all day and wake up tomorrow to act again like I'm happy with my life. That's where I'm good at, hiding my feelings to everyone and putting smiles to my face when deep inside I feel sad and lonely.
Alam ko na hindi na maibabalik ang oras na nawala si Owen sakin. Hinihiling ko lang na sana mabigyan ako ng isang araw para makasama ko sya. Just one day to spend my time with him, to feel again how it feels to be back in his arms, to kiss him, hug him, make love to him, And I want to feel his touch that brings fire through out my body. I want to do everything we always do even just for a day.
Nandito lang ako sa kwarto umiiyak at nagmumukmok. I feel so depressed its been three years since Owen left me. They said time heals the pain, Pero bakit? Bakit hanggang ngayon masakit pa rin? Until when will I suffer? For how long can I take the pain?
I want to forget and move on. Forget everything that happened that night before he left me.
*Flashback*
Nandito kami ni Owen sa bahay nakahiga sa kama at magkayakap. It was silent but comfortable, when he suddenly spoke. He loosen his hold on me and turned his body to face me.
"Aileen"
"Bakit?"
"My parents want me to go there in Davao to celebrate christmas and new year with them"
"What? But I want to celebrate my Christmas and new year with you. I planned it already!!"
"Aileen, intindihin mo naman they are my family, priority ko sila at importante sila sakin."
"Am I not not important to you? If I am then stay and let's celebrate together"
"I'm sorry, I miss them I haven't seen then since my last visit. I will make it up to you I promise"
"No! You will stay here and we will celebrate together!!"
"Aileen! Could you please stop being a brat? Magkasama tayo almost everyday and my family I haven't visit them in eight months! Can't you understand? I miss them. Hindi lang laging ikaw Aileen!"
"Me a brat? Ok fine! Go! It's not my fault that I want to be with you!"
"I'm outta here"
"Go on leave me here!"
Pagkaalis ni Owen, I throw everything near me. Why can't he see that I want us to celebrate together?
*30 minutes later*
Ringgg... Ringgg... Ringgg.. Rin
"Hello?"
"Is this miss Aileen Evangelista?"
"Yes speaking"
"Ahmm.. Ma'am I'm from Castro Hospital, Can you come here immediately? Mr. Owen got into car crush"
"O-o-okay"
[At Castro Hospital]
"I'm here for Owen Ignacio"
"Nasa ER pa po sya Ma'am, Maupo po muna kayo while waiting for the result"
"Ma'am are you miss Aileen Evangelista?"
"Oo bakit?"
"Ma'am nakita po kasi itong cellphone nya sa loob ng sasakyan. Muka pong nag tatype ng message bago maaksidente"
I took the phone and open his draft messages.
Aileen my love, I'm very sorry for our fight . Ayokong nagagalit ka alam mo naman na mahal na mahal kita. For you I will contact my parents at sasabihin ko na hindi ako pupunta because I also want to celebrate my Christmas and New year with my beautiful and loving girlfriend. Pupunta na lang ako dun to have a vacation and of course I will bring you with me. Ayokong iwan ka, kaya please? Ai wag kana magalit. Matitiis mo ba tong napaka gwapo mong boyfriend? Wag na tayo mag away ha? Babalik ako diyan hintayin mo ko magugulat ka nalang I'm already in you door step knocking at your door. Smile for me? I hate seeing my Ai sad ok? I love y
*End Of Flashback*
Maybe he didn't get the chance to finish his message for me that night because he crushed his car.
I was the reason he died. It's all my fault. If I didn't become a nagging bitch girlfriend maybe we're still together. Kung inintindi ko lang sya at hinayaan na makasama ang family nya buhay pa sana sya. Kasalanan ko ang lahat. I'm the one to blame why I'm miserable.
Thinking that today is his death anniversary makes me cry even more.
He is dead because of me I wish that I move on soon.
"I love you Owen please forgive me"
Then I fell Asleep
