Song for this chapter "Say You Love Me" by Jessie Ware
Nasa Olongapo ako ngayon with my family to celebrate our new year. Dito kasi nakatira ang lola ko. Sya lang ang nakatira dito, sa Bulacan kasi ang buhay namin kaya we only visit her every vacation break or when there's an ocation.
I miss home, and I miss him too. I wish this vacation will end soon, hindi naman sa ayoko makasama ang lola ko. Ang boring lang talga dito wala akong magawa lalo ko lang namimiss si Harvey. I miss him so much I wish his here with me.
Harvey is my boyfriend legal kami sa parents ko but not on his parents. Though he always visit me to our house, hindi kami namomroblema kapag gusto namin magkita. Ilang bahay lang naman ang pagitan namin kaya madali lang. Strict ang parents ko especially my mother, fierce kasi muka nya.
Before him I used to be bitter, They called me "Hugot Queen" "Ms. Bitter" and "Miss Walang Forever" I've been hurt before and told myself that I will never fall in love again, and it seems like I ate my words.
He made me believe why I should fall in love again, he showed me so much love and I fell for him. He is my world and I am his, He is my king and I am his Queen, I am his damsel in distress and he is my knight in shining armor. That's us, we support each other. I love you is not enough to express my love for him no, words can describe how much I love him.
So back to the topic
I'm here outside our house sitting while thingking of him. My mom came and we talk and talk about things when she asked me something that caught my attention (really caught my attention).
"Do you know Harvey's grandmother?" Mom asked
"No, why?"
"Sinabi sakin ni Patricia na apo sya ni Nana Sila kamag anak kasi natin yun"
"Di ko kilala lola nya" I answer
"Yung tatay ba nya kilala mo? Raffy ba pangalan?"
"I don't know, I never met his family and I didn't ask anything about them."
"Ask him when you see him and if ever break up with him you two are cousins" mom said and get up
"Ok" I reply
After she left I think about many possibilities, the possibility that we are related that we have the same blood. Thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going crazy. I hope it's not true.
---------------------------------
If you think I'm excited to be back, you're wrong. I'm afraid to know the answer, And if ever it is true (i hope not) I will never love again ever! papanindigan ko na talaga to.
Nilabas ko ang phone ko and I text him
Me- Hey \(^_^)/ miss me? I'm back come to my house I want to see you
Harvey- I miss you too, wait for me I'm on my way
-
My face lit up when he enter to our house, my parents were out so we can talk without worrying about them.
We talk so much things, said how much we miss each other, said our I love you's, and how he'd been when I'm gone. After that I ask him the question that I'm fearing to ask him.
"I want to asked you something, I just realized that we've been together for so long and I don't even know anything about your family. Tell me about your family, who's your grandmother? Father? Anything"
"My grandmother? Her name is Selya but people call her Nana Sila" Harvey started
"G-go on co-continoue" My voice is shaking because I finally got the answer
He look at me weirdly before he continue
"She's nice, She love cooking I've learn so much things from her. She'd been asking me when she can meet you, grandma really wanted to see you. I told her you're not ready yet and when you are I will introduce you to her. About my father, his name is Rafael and also called Raffy. We are not that close though he is a verry busy man, but he knows I have a girlfriend and he wanted to see the girl who made me go to school everyday."
"They seems.. nice" I told him
"Yeah they are" he said smiling widely
Oh my gosh!! He is my cousin. I'm in love to my cousin. I think I'm going crazy, I don't know what to do. My heart is breaking, how can this happen? I don't want to lose him I love him so much that its hurt. What should I do now?
"Trish is there something wrong?" He ask me worridly
"Yes, of course I'm fine! Why woudn't I?"
"Sigurado ka?"
"Yes sure, if I ask you to do something will you do it?"
"Ano ba yun?"
"Kiss me"
And he did. I know that it's wrong dahil pinsan ko sya. Pero gusto ko lang makasama sya sa huling sandali. I want to feel him before I leave him. I don't care this is the only thing that I want from him the last thing that I want to remember.
I kiss him like there's no tomorrow. I want to show Harvey how much I love him and I want him to remember me and every little things about me.
"H-Harvey? I-I need you p-please"
"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you"
I'm the one who will hurt you after this
"Y-yes"
He carry me to my room and we made love
---
I woke up first and I saw him beside me sleeping peacefully. I look outside my window and its late already my parents will be home now. I get dress and look at him sadly.
"I love you always remember. Don't hate me please?" Tears starting to bulid in my eyes and I wipe them immediately.
"Harv wake up, my family will be home now. You need to get dress"
"Hmmmm?"
"I said wake up and get dress"
Pagkatapos nya mag bihis bumaba na kami.
"I think you should ho home now"
"But-"
"Don't worry we will meet tomorrow"
"Ok. See you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow I love you"
-----
The next day
As I told him he is here in the park waiting for me. I sit next to him without saying anything.
"Bakit ang tahimik mo? May problema ba?" Tanong niya
"I'm breaking up with you" I told him without looking up
I stood up and ready to walk away, away from my love, away from happiness and away from my cousin but he suddenly grab my arm.
"Why?" He ask me
"Dahil sawa na ko sayo. I don't love anymore I'm sorry and thank you for yesterday"
"Trish please, you're not thinking straight don't do this to me. I love you"
"Goodbye I hope you find someone like me, no someone who is better than me. Be happy that's all I want for you"
"I will always love you" I wispher to myself
I know he did not heard me because I'm already foot steps away from him. I want to turn back but I know its better not to because I know once I turn and look at his sad face I will walk back to him again.
I don't want to let him go but I need to. I love him but this is wrong. This is for him and for me, This is for us.
I'm letting you go now Harvey, be happy and I will be when you are.
I love you
