Pawn of Panem | Finnick Odair [2]

Pain : 17

Chapter Seventeen

Plutarch crosses to me, laughing. "Where do you come up with this stuff? No one would believe it if we made it up!" He throws an arm around Finnick and I and kisses me on the top of my head with a loud smack. "You two are golden!"

"We weren't doing it for the cameras," Katniss says.

"Lucky they were on, then," he says. "Come on, everybody, back to town!"

As we trudge back through the woods, we reach a boulder, and both Gale and Katniss turn their heads in the same direction, like a pair of dogs catching a scent on the wind. Cressida notices and asks what lies that way. They admit it's their old hunting rendezvous place. She wants to see it, even after they tell her it's nothing really.

A rock ledge overlooking the valley. Perhaps a little less green than usual, but the blackberry bushes hang heavy with fruit. It's beautiful. You almost forget and there's a Capitol. But... There's no District to escape from now, no Peacekeepers to trick, no hungry mouths to feed. The Capitol took away all of that. I'm losing my memories, and I'm on the verge of losing Gale as well.

Gale as good as lied to me. That was unacceptable, even if he was concerned about my well-being. His apology seemed genuine, though. And I threw it back in his face with an insult to make sure it stung. What is happening to us? It's all a muddle, but I somehow feel that if I went back to the root of our troubles, my actions would be at the heart of it. I drive everyone I care for away, and the last person I let in is him... so he gets kicked out first.

My fingers encircle a blackberry and pluck it from its stem. I roll it gently between my thumb and forefinger. Suddenly, I turn to him and toss it in his direction. "And may the odds--" I say. I throw it high so he has plenty of time to decide whether to knock it aside or accept it.

Gale's eyes train on me, not the berry, but at the last moment, he opens his mouth and catches it. He chews, swallows, and there's a long pause before he says " --be ever in your favor." But he does say it.

Cressida has us all sit in the nook in the rocks, where it's impossible not to be touching, and coaxes us into talking. We thaw, begin to laugh a little, as we relate mishaps with bees and wild dogs and skunks in District 12 to District 5. When the conversation turns to how it felt to translate our skill with weapons to the bombing in 8, I stop talking. Gale just says, "Long overdue."

By the time we reach the town square, afternoon's sinking into evening. Katniss takes Cressida and I to the rubble of a bakery and ask her to film something. The only emotion we all can muster is exhaustion.

"Peeta, this is your home. None of your family has been heard of since the bombing. Twelve is gone. And you're calling for a cease-fire?" Katniss looks across the emptiness. "There's no one left to hear you."

As we stand before the lump of metal that was the gallows, Cressida asks if any of us have ever been tortured. In answer, Gale pulls off his shirt and turns his back to the camera. I stare at the lash marks, wondering how on earth he got them.

He tells the story of how he saved a small child before being hit by the Head Peacekeeper Thread. He tackled him. Gale, the accessible one, tackling the head peacekeeper. He tells of how they tied him up in Town's Square and whipped him senseless before Katniss intervened. Before he says another word, I walk to him and embrace him so tightly, I can hear his heartbeat against my face. When I pull away from him, everyone has moved on.

"I knew you'd hug me."

"How?" I say. Because I didn't know myself.

"Because I'm in pain," he says. "That's the only way I get your attention." He picks up his shirt. "Don't worry, Sage, Katniss does it, too. It'll pass." He leaves before I can answer.