Sinking

sequestered

The following weeks involved a lot of trying to open myself up.

I started telling Phil when I was sad and when I was happy, and I decided to try explaining why for the times there was a reason. I continued to talk out loud to him, and I even said a few things to PJ while we were at work together. His initial reaction had been, "Aw, you said something! That's nice, your voice is cute." I rolled my eyes at the adjective used, but smiled nonetheless. I was finally considering him a close friend, but we hadn't done anything together outside of our shared work hours. Mostly because if I did hang out with people, Chris was one of those people. Without saying anything about it, I knew PJ appreciated me not talking about him or inviting him to events where that boy attended.

It actually didn't scare me that much to have Phil know things about me that I would normally leave unattended and sequestered. It was a two sided effort, considering that I now knew everything about Phil's life. I didn't pry at anything, but we both knew I valued him trusting me with what he had explained. I hoped I would be able to open up for him in return sometime soon. Any relationship, friendship, romance, family; they all require full trust on both sides.

Today was actually Thanksgiving for Americans. The only friend of mine who was American was Tyler, so he and Troye had flown yesterday to America to be with his family in Michigan. The rest of us british people were just celebrating a normal day in November.

I discovered that the loud one of the group was generally Tyler. Because without him here, our table at school was considerably quieter, despite the fact Louise and Phil were having an enthusiastic discussion about donuts. I, personally, wasn't paying too much attention. They always rambled about the weirdest things.

Considering what Phil had told me about him becoming friends with Louise, I had a completely new perspective on her. I knew she was nice, but she got Phil out of a situation that probably would've ended up with him getting killed.

"Pumpkin spice donuts!" Phil yelled and I was pulled from my thoughts, returning my lost gaze to the two sitting beside me.

"Pumpkin donuts in general," Louise replied.

I narrowed my eyes. "You guys, it is the end of November." I didn't realize that I'd said those words out loud until they were tumbling past my lips, my sarcastic attitude shining through.

The only person who seemed to hear besides Phil was luckily just a shocked Louise. No one at the table was listening to whatever us three had going on.

"Dan!" She whispered loudly, as if she understood my sudden fear that anyone else heard my words. "Your voice is so cute."

I rolled my eyes as that was the second time I'd been told that within the last two weeks, however, I just mouthed, Thanks, with a slight smile tugging at my lips. It was getting a whole lot easier to talk to people when I trusted them.

"I agree," Phil joined in, "and also, I think it is appropriate to enjoy pumpkin things all year round. I just won't feel festive until December 1st. Then I'll need to go get a gingerbread latte."

Louise and I both laughed, and I mentally decided that the three of us should all go out for coffee sometime. Spending time with two outwardly positive people really was a great feeling.

Chris suddenly popped up over my shoulder. "What's so funny over here?"

Phil shrugged, his face going completely serious as he took a sip of his soda. "Just sex, drugs, and our plans for murder. You know, the usual." Louise smacked him on the arm while I just smiled.

Chris nodded as if he believed him; I could easily sense the joking beneath it, but I noticed the way his eyes lingered on Phil for just a little too long before he turned away.