Sinking

developing

Graduation was two weeks later.

Phil and I had been seated by each other, as usual, in the group of chairs containing our class, both of us quite tired because of late-night apartment hunting and phone calls between us and Elena discussing Phil's father's funeral. I was nearly fully sure he didn't want to go, but he humored his sister-in-law by helping her plan.

My birthday had been quite boring, but I didn't mind at all. The day had consisted of sleeping in and scrolling through Tumblr and eating a lot of potato chips, as well as taking a trip to Louise's house towards the evening. My favorite presents had been Troye's first copy of his unreleased EP, and Phil's which had been the entire first two seasons of Haikyuu on Blu ray.

Currently, we listened to the principal make a speech, not one that I was listening to, anyway; then, the class victorians that made even worse speeches. Finally, the calling of names up to get their diplomas began. I was hoping everything would go quickly, because on that same day, we had an apartment to look at and an art sale to set up for that was happening tomorrow. So much of our life was developing very quickly, and keeping it all under control was becoming slightly difficult. The good thing was that I had my boyfriend to help, and another good thing was that we finally had a car.

It was ugly and cheap, but that was because we needed to use as much of our money as possible for the apartment. It was under Phil's name, because it was his inherited money we'd used, but he'd made it very clear that it belonged to me, too.

All of it was easier for him now: accepting his father's death and the fact that maybe he felt a bit mournful. I didn't; one, I didn't know him, and two, he'd hurt the love of my life. But it didn't bother me that Phil felt this way, since I believed that his emotions were valid, just as I'd told him the day we found out. I still didn't think we'd end up going to the funeral, however.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard the words "Dan Howell," spoken loudly across the field everyone was packed onto, and I looked up in alarm, realizing it was now my turn to go up there and get my diploma. As I stood up, I felt my hand being squeezed and I looked down at the boy I was so in love with, smiling at me the same way he had the first day we had ever spoken. Full of happiness, excitement, curiosity for the future. I let go of his hand, gently, and walked up towards the stage temporarily placed on the grass.

Our principal announced something about me that I wasn't paying enough attention to to hear, most likely my name and age and whatever "special" thing I'd done academically, and then I had my diploma in my hands and I was being rushed down the stairs to sit on the other side. I noticed that I was conveniently next to none other than Joseph Sugg.

After that one incident with him and Troye and the substitute teacher, he'd never said a word to me again. At some point Tyler had told me that he and Caspar had gotten into a relationship or something, but I wasn't too involved with either of their lives. Caspar was funny, but that was all I knew. I liked them better now because I knew they weren't straight.

"Dan Howell," spoke Joe as a greeting, and I grimaced internally. I was hoping that he wouldn't say anything and then after this we could both get on with our lives, but then again, I had already learned the world never did anything that I wanted it to do. Well, most of the time.

"Joe," I acknowledged, not turning in his direction. I was waiting for Phil's name to be called: I had set my hat down onto the chair to the left of me in order to save it, although I doubted that that was allowed.

"Congrats on the art scholarship," He stated, and I lifted one eyebrow. "I hope you're doing better these days."

Instead of making a sarcastic remark, I replied, "Thanks."