The Philosophy of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Sept 2017: God and the Afterlife

I've never believed in Hell.  It just doesn't make sense to me, especially once my belief in karma and reincarnation are brought into the picture.  If you're supposed to reap the benefits (or suffer the punishments) for your actions in life while still living, then what exactly is the point of Hell's existence?  Well, simply put, there isn't one.  I suppose I do believe in Heaven, or some sort of afterlife, but it's shaky, at best.  And then there's God.  I'm not sure I believe in God, though I know I want to.  I'm logical by nature and dislike things I can't explain.  No, that's not true—quite the opposite, in fact.  I relish the idea that there is at least some sort of guiding force out there, that miracles can happen, that some things are fated to turn out the way they do.  And every time something happens that might be attributed to some magical, unexplainable force, I do my best not to pry, I try not to explain it for fear that it can, indeed, be explained.  Perhaps it's a foolish way of going about things, but sometimes I think, and the possibility of its truth frightens me, that my purposeful ignorance is all that holds my faith standing, tentative as it is.  And so my true nature is revealed--a coward to the core, who cannot even face their own beliefs for fear they may be naught but poorly constructed lies.  Even this little bit, a slight mention of it all, and I can hardly keep my fingers from deleting what I've committed to the screen, can hardly move the cursor to "Publish," can hardly let it out.  This is a gate that I've long ago locked, with a key I thought lost for good.  It is not something I wish to share, nor hardly to know myself.  And yet, there is some compulsion that keeps me typing, something that pushes me to get it out, to rid myself of the idea that it is difficult, that it is bad.  And so, if you are reading this, that compulsion has won out.