I Hate You

Chapter 17

// TRIGGER WANRING DON'T READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EASILY MENTIONS OF- self harm //

// DANS POV //

     This morning  I felt so empty. Without Phil, nothing is happening in time. the clock is turning in the opposite direction. I feel nothing. The numbness of everything began to overcome my body.

     The loud banging on my door awoke me from my world I created.

     "Dan. I heard you're gay." my father stepped into the room.

     " What? No." I said, turning my music off for a second.

     " Dan. Don't try to fucking lie to me. I didn't raise a homosexual. One of the nurses at the hospital you stayed in called me to tell me to treat you a little better and to be more supportive for you, because you found a mate in there."

     I blushes a little bit, and tried to wipe it away, but I couldn't. Thinking about Phil made me light up in joy, and gave my stomach butterflies.

     "No dad, he's just a f-friend." I said, looking down, letting my dark brown, melted dark chocolate hair cascade over my eyes again.

      "Dan, listen to me. I didn't raise a fucking homosexual. You need to rethink your life choices. Think about someone other than yourself, and go kill yourself or something, because I don't want you in my life, and neither does anyone else."

     "Shut up.." I mumbled.

     " Excuse me?" he asked. His voice getting rougher, and louder, and the footsteps became louder, and the floor vibrated which each and every one.

     " I said shut up!" I shouted, beginning to get up. But with a whip of a back of a hand I fell back onto my bed.

     " Don't disrespect your father! I created you! Don't you ever believe for a second that I can take you out of this world! I never wanted you in it in the first place!" He said, and threw a fist at me, which soon turned my bed into a pool of red.

     " There's a lot more where that came from, bitch. Watch your step, you're under my roof." he said, and slammed the door, leaving me to lay there and cry. The tears flooded my bed, and pillows leaving salty stains for me to drown myself in my own misery.

     I heard my mom call me to come downstairs, but I ignored her. I looked at the blade laying across from me on my bedside table. Clean. Untouched. I pick it up, and put it to my skin. I shake, hesitating whether or not I should. I should think about other people, not just myself so much anymore. I drag it, slowly, and then within a second, the blood is flowing down my arm like a river. A tear streams down my face, and falls to my arm, colliding with the blood. Just then my door opens.

     " D-Dan?" I hear a small, shaky voice, call out my name.

     I turn around and see Phil, fiddling with his thumbs under his jumper. Apparently my face and arm were visible enough to see clearly, because Phil ran to me, pushed me over on the bed and embraced me with a hug.

     "Why would you do that to yourself..?" He speaks up, leaving me speechless. Why would I do this to myself. I had no reason. I'm just feeling sorry for myself.

     "Dan! Answer me! Why would you do this?" he said, and turned my head to look at his, a tear forming in his left eye. It fell onto my cheek. My eyes on the other hand, were dry of water.

      " I don't k-know.." I said, shakily.

     " Don't do it again." he says sternly into my ear, and leaves a small mark of his lips onto my nose, holding my arms down with his hands.

     The one thing I forgot to do was close the door...

     "Dan! What the fuck did I say?" a loud voice said from my doorway again. Phil jumped up, dusting himself off, and I just stayed there, on the bed staring at my father.

     " What did you say." I say, standing up and walking to him.

     " I said I didn't raise a homosexual."

     " And I said you didn't raise me."

     "Oh really." he said, and sternly slapped me, this time without the back of his hand. The front. A look of shock filled Phil's face, and it turned red with anger.

     " Don't do that." he said. stepping forward and held my face in his hands.

     " Don't tell me what to do to my kids, you little faggot. Get off of my son."

     " I'm only your son in court related situations. I hate you." I say, and abruptly felt my hand turn to a fist, and fit perfectly onto my fathers nose.

     He fell to the floor, and looked at me with a death stare.

     " Come here you little bastard!" He shouted, and Phil took my hand, and pulled me down the stairs. My dad chased us, and soon we were out the door, and in Phils mum's car, hand in hand.

     " Thank you.." I said.

     He smiled, and leaned his head over my shoulder.

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