I Hate You

Chapter 21

     Looking out the window, I just sat on my bed. It was worth nothing. Why did my life have to be like this..? I hated myself. Why would  I let everything  I have go to waste for this. Phil was my everything. He helped me through so much, and what I did could never be repaired.

____THE NEXT DAY_____ // PHILS POV//

I walked through the halls, a tiny bit of anxiety running through me, some hurt, some dread, some stress, some anger, some sadness. A little bit of everything. Martin walked by my side. We walked to lunch together, where we sat in the same spot we always did. It was always at the same table, with popular people sitting around us, and talking. Talking. That word makes me cringe. I hate it. Everything is all talk anymore. Why the hell does life have to take so many un-expectant turns? I don't know. Don't ask me. 

     I sat down alone, waiting for Martin and his popular jock friends to get here. I didn't eat that day. They didn't seem to notice. Martin did maybe. He asked if I was okay a few times, but being interrupted a lot by his friends, I didn't get to answer him fully. I sat around, looking for Dan.  He was in the corner, playing with his food, like I was.His fringe covered his face, and he held his head up with his left hand. the other hand held the fork to push the uneaten food around his tray. He looked up at me ,and then quickly back down once he realizes  I was looking at him. I don't understand. Why didn't he want to look at me, what did  I do to him.. he doesn't think I'm the one who put that audio over the loudspeaker did he??

     During math, our last period, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. He seemed like he was in an eternal loop of nothing and everything. I couldn't help but notice his wrists. He's been scratching at them.. he does that when hes nervous or just mad at himself. He's tried to stop cutting but scratching isn't any better to me.

    Okay, so after school, I walked back up to me room, and in the closet was one of Dan's shirts. It still smelled like him, like cheap cologne and fresh air. A nice smell. Also, a reason for me to go and see him.