The Boy Next Door

Chapter Nine: What happened?

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Jason's POV

I don't get what happened. Why does she think she's not good enough, I mean we knew each other since we were kids. I get that she has a low self-esteem and all, but  I didn't know she viewed herself so low, that she wouldn't be good enough for me? That's bullshit, if anything I'm not good enough for her. She's beautiful, intelligent, caring, honest and no matter what she'll be there for you, even if your the bitchiest of them all, if you needed her help, she wouldn't turn her back on you.

Damn it. Why did it turn out this?

Whatever I can't leave this place like this, Jude would kill me, I guess I need to start cleaning up.

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      "Hey, Jason, so what happened, how'd it go?" I looked over by the door and see Jude.

      "Well, I told her, how I felt,"

      "Finally." He said dragging out the -i "So how'd it go?" He looked at me teasingly, which pissed me off, cause he gave the vibe as if there was no way it could have gone wrong. 

      "It sucked Jude! If it went well don't you think she'd still be here?! She couldn't even accept it! She. She just." I couldn't even finish my sentence, I was fucking stuttering, and when I thought it couldn't get worse, I could feel myself holding back tears. Damn it, I didn't even know I liked her this much.

      "Jason, why don't you head back. I think you need to a shitload of chick flicks and ice cream." He said this with no sarcasm in his voice what so ever.

      "Really Jude? Chick flicks? I think I'll just stick with video games and the ice cream," I can hear my voice cracking and feel myself chocking up. 

      "I don't know, okay, it was like the first thing I thought of." 

      "Sure," I say with a slight smile on my face, trying to reassure him I'm fine.

      "Jason, just go, okay? I'll handle this. I can tell you need space anyway."

      "Thanks Jude." 

I'm just about to leave then Jude says, "Hey, Jason, if you ever wanna talk about it though,"

      "I know, thanks."

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When I got to the hall of my apartment, I see Miranda just about to enter hers, I guess she got off work early today.

I wait for her to get in before I go any further down the hall. 

Once I got into the apartment I headed straight for fridge and disappointingly didn't find any ice cream, fuck just when I was already craving for it. Whatever I guess I'll watch for a bit .

Just as I'm about to shower I hear Jude entering the apartment, I guess he finished cleaning up.

About 10 minutes later I get out of the shower and notice a note on the kitchen counter saying 

      "Jason, I noticed we didn't have ice cream so I got out to get some."

I text him right after reading his note 

      "Whoa, someone's being really really nice today, and sorry about being an ass awhile ago, I mean, I didn't really have any reason to shout at you." 

      "It's fine I get, and what can you do, your older brother is awesome."  He replied

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I headed for my room and laid down on my bed, thinking about what happened awhile ago and how I could fix it, but questions kept popping into my head, like whether we would even still talk, or would she start avoiding me even more than before, or would she act like nothing happened, which I know is only about 1% plausible.

I kept thinking and thinking, until this question popped into my head - does she hate me now? - then that made me just panic and want to call her, and wished I never did that stupid thing, but then I couldn't really undo it, and I honestly don't have the courage to call her right now, and even if I did, I'm sure she wouldn't answer. I really didn't wanna think about this anymore, so I got up and started playing video games, while waiting for my ice cream, no matter how childish that sounds.