The Friendship(Shawn Mendes and Hayes Grier)

Letting go

The feeling that I will never be able to see my parents again ate me alive. I didn't have , the  strength walk up to their lifeless bodies and say my final goodbyes. Hayes being a good friend held my had the whole time at the funeral. I just couldn't bare the feeling, I am in such a state of shock the I just sit in my room and not speak. After the funeral I completely shut down. I stopped eating ,I cried when I slept , it was something about seeing them that made my body freezing.

Two days ago we left. Everything my parents had built and worked for now just wasn't ours. When I think about it I just feel like it's my fault. I killed parents I was never able to them what they wanted from me. The only thing they wanted from me. I regret not showing them I cared, getting mad and not speaking to them because they gave me tough love.

All they wanted was a daughter that followed the rules and listened. The fact they were dead didn't become my reality until I left that funeral home. Sometimes Hayes sneaks into my room and lays with me, just to make sure I'm okay.  Shawn tries to talk to me at school but I just ignore him.

Waking up to pain is like not being able to breathe. Feeling a constant weight on your chest that you know will never go away. I walk to the bathroom and sit on the floor as I listen to my friends and family worry about me.

"She won't eat grand dad." I hear Kayla say in a hush tone.

"Honey she needs therapy we can't keep sending her to school like this. She is broken and we can't fix it." My grandmother says . There is a a knock at the door and they all go silent. The only thing I can hear are footsteps coming closer to me by the second.

I stand up to meet the blue eyes I was trying to ignore . He stares  at me with a worried expression before I fall to my knees again. Every time  I look at him I get shot by a million bullets.  What my family doesn't get is that it was my fault. I was supposed to be the strong one but I can't eat my guilt. I'm Instead it eats me. 
Picking me up, Hayes walks to my room laying me on the bed.

"You know...." He starts, I close my eyes and try blocking him out. Although I can still hear him I sit in the corner of my dark room moving away for where the light shines on my bed.

"I know you think you kill them..... You didn't. So stop blaming yourself! I pains me to see you like this. You won't even look at me. Tell me what I did? Please?" He pleads

"I did it."

"I killed them. And now my demon has to come to kill me. I can't drown them Hayes I can't!!" I barely croaked out from not speaking in days. He ran over to me and hugged me tight while I screamed and cried.

"P-please make it stop i-it  hurts. Oohs ohh oh it hurts uhh I can't breathe. Hugh highly ugh ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh make it stop I can't fucking take it." I cry