Back for you

Chapter 19

*Past*

"Di you are a good mother even a good role model everyone loves you.I love you and that's all it matter. Besides Trixy and Destiny loves you so much."Jon told me kissing me lip

Then we laid on bed with my head on his chest

"I can't wait when me and you get married."I said but Jon hesitated "What's wrong."I asked but he didn't talk."Come on you can tell me"

"I don't want to marry you."Jon told me and I was shocked

*Present*

"Excuse me."I said sitting on the bed

"Di don't get me wrong I love-"Jon said

"How can you say you love me when you said you don't want to marry me.I understand that you maybe don't want to get married now."I started yelling

"You don't have to yell."Jon told me.

"Don't have to yell are you kidding me.You know that it always have been my dream to get married and you say that you don't want to marry me."I said

"It's complicated Di.As you know I don't have a very nice picture of marriage.My mum got married 5 times and my dad 6 fuckin times.I am lucky that Cece is my fresh and blood and not half sister. Marriage for me have been disaster.I don't want to end up like that and then Trixy and Destiny will grow up in a bad environment because of it.I suffered so much because of mum and dad."Jon said

"But we are not your parents Jon.We are...We are good parents as you said yourself."I said while tears streaming down my face

"I am sorry but that is the only thing I can't give you."He said sad

"Then why are you with me"I said still crying

"Because I love you."He said

He loves me so why is he with me if he doesn't want to marry me

"Jon get out of the room I don't want to see you right now."I yelled

"You know this is my room too."He said calm as possible

"I don't care.Take you luggage and get out.Trixy and Destiny are staying with me."I told him

"Where am I suppose to go."He asked still calm

"Why don't you go root in hell."I yelled

"You are acting crazy."Jon said grabbing his luggage

"Oh I show you crazy."I said

I grabbed the necklaces he bought me and broke it in half and throw it to the floor

"If that's what you want fine."Jon said and left slamming the door

"Dad what.....*door slammed* happen" I heard Trixy said

"I go talk to Diandra"Mum said

"I come with you."Colby said

I couldn't stop crying.It is every girl's dream to get married and I just found out that Jon doesn't want too.I am destroyed.I walked slowly to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My face is a disaster. My mascara and eyeliner is dripping down my face.I grabbed the first thing that I saw and throw it to the mirror

"Di what is happening in there open the door."I heard mum say trying to open the door but I didn't answer

I stayed looking at the broken pieces and that feeling came back again

"Di don't you dare cut again." Colby said

But it's too late blood was dripping my hand

"Break the door down Colby." Mum said and he did.I turned around facing them holding my bloody hand.

"I am sorry"I said and Mum came hugging me

"Why is your necklace broken and on the floor."Colby said holding the necklace and I fell on bed crying

"Jon."I yelled crying mum came and continue hugging me while Colby got the bandages and wrapped my hand

"What happen with Jon."Mum asked

"He told me that he doesn't want to marry me."I said and cried again.

"Strange.He used to always talk about marriage."Colby said

"It always have been my dream to get married and have kids.Half of my dream happened already happen but now the other half will never happen."I said crying harder

"Calm down please butterfly you are scaring me."Mum told me

"Please can you leave me alone I am going to cry again because that's all I have."I said

"But."Colby said

"Please bro."I said

"Just promise me you won't do anything."Colby told me and I nodded

"Promise."I said.

"I will take care of Destiny and Trixy" Mum told me

"Thank you."I said

That day I just spend it crying my eyes out on the bed seeing and talk to nobody.