Suffering and Recovering [A Marauders Era Fanfic]

Ch. 10 ~ Apologies and Sleepless Nights

Alright guys, here's chapter 10. 

"Bloody hell," I mumbled, staring around in awe. We had just walked out of the Great Hall, and I had already gotten sidetracked. It took me a moment to notice that Mary and Doe were right beside me, chuckling at my expression. 

"Sorry," Doe said, still chuckling, "it's just that those were my exact words when I exited the Great Hall, too. Mary's laughing because she was right there, next to me, when I said it." They laughed for a few more minutes before we all continued up to Gryffindor Tower. When we reached there, the fat, female opera singer in the portrait was eyeing me curiously. 

"You don't seem familiar," she said slowly. Then, her face lit up in realization, and she started chatting happily. Not to me, though, to the portrait next to hers. 

"Oh, heavens, Violet! It's a transfer! Merlin knows we haven't had a transfer in ages now. Oh, this will be so exciting! I wonder if-" 

Mary loudly cleared her throat, interrupting the Fat Lady's conversation. "Pigfarts," she said, bored. 

"Yes, alright," the Fat Lady said impatiently, swinging open the portrait door. "Get in, then."

We walked in quickly, aware of the crowd of students behind us. We would have gone to our dorm immediately, but something held us back. 

Well, actually, it was a someone. 

"Can I talk to you?" James said, approaching me with a sad expression on his face. "Alone?"

"Fine, then," I said shortly. I nodded to Doe and Mary, and they walked over to one side of the room.

"I'm sorry for hexing Snivel- I mean, Snape. I didn't know how strongly you felt about it." Our eyes met, and while I tried to maintain my angry expression, his eyes kept silently pleading with me. I sighed, and gave him a soft smile. 

"I guess it's okay," I shrugged. "Just try not to do it again, alright?" 

He nodded eagerly. "I promise!" Bless his soul, he'll forget by tomorrow morning. We were about to hug, when Sirius appeared right beside me, out of nowhere. 

"Can I help you?" I asked impatiently. This idiot just gets on my nerves, you know?

"Go out with me, Jackie," he smirked. I scrunched up my nose. 

"Ew, no," I grimaced. "Control your mates, Prongs." I turned on my heel and left, followed by Doe and Mary. I waited for them to catch up at the foot of the stairs leading to the girls' dormitories, and when they did, I followed them upstairs. We walked into the dorm, which was empty, except for us. 

"How much of that did you hear?" I asked casually. Doe smirked.

"Black asked you out, you declined," she answered in the same tone.

We were all just claiming which beds would be ours and rearranging our stuff when Lily and Emma walked in. 

"Hey," Lily said walking in, and began arranging her stuff out as well. Emma simply sat on her bed for a few minutes, before getting her toothbrush, toothpaste and her pajamas before walking into the bathroom. A few minutes later, the shower came on.

And then I couldn't take it anymore. 

"Is there always an awkward silence?" 

That seemed to get a few giggles out of everyone, before we went back to work. Thankfully, though, we finished a few minutes later. So when we finished, we unspokenly decided to sit in the middle of the floor and just hang out. 

"So, um.." Lily began. "Did something happen down in the Common Room? Something to do with Black, I mean." 

Doe, Mary and I exchanged a look. 

"Well," Mary started before trailing off. She stared at me pointedly. 

"He asked me out," I said in a rush. 

"Again," Doe chimed from beside me. 

Lily raised one eyebrow, saying nothing. We all got her message, though: What did she say?

"She refused, of course," Mary said, disappointed, apparently. 

"Again," Doe repeated. "Marlene would kill for a chance like that, you know. She fancies Black quite a bit." Emma, who apparently heard all of this from the bathroom, took a seat next to Lily.

"Most of us girls do, for that matter," she said, rolling her eyes. "But why would you decline? I mean, I understand why, but I still would have said yes!" 

I stared at my lap for a while after that. I think Emma realized what she said, so she started to apologize. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I didn't mean-" 

"It's okay," I said suddenly, looking up. "Really." It was more for her sake than mine, though, because I knew that it would never truly be okay, no matter how much I move on.

"If it's alright," I said to the others after a stretch of silence, "I think I'll go use the loo." I grabbed an over-sized shirt, a pair of shorts, and my toiletries bag and walked into the bathroom. 

Five minutes later, I came out with my Beatles shirt on and my hair all washed. 

 The others decided to follow my example, and we all agreed on hitting the sack soon enough. 

That night, I slept after what seemed like forever. And even then, it felt like I only slept for five minutes at a time before waking up from a nightmare and falling asleep again. After going through this vicious cycle a ton of times, it was finally time to start the day. 

Brilliant. My first night and I barely slept at all. Great start, right?

Sorry, I know it sucked, but lately I feel a bit writers-blocked with this. Which honestly makes no sense, because this is basically a rewrite. I dunno, but I just can't think of anything anymore. It's like this with school and everyday stuff, too, not just writing. Is anyone going through the same thing? Please help. 

I love you all. Simmi Howell