The Darkness Engagement

Calamity Is A Talent For Me..

I woke up without Destiny in the room. I got worried. What if what happened last night made her leave in such a short time? If I ever lost such a amazing girl, my life would end. She made me happy, and I didn't know how to prove that to her. The sex, the kissing, none of that could compare to the happiness her presence gave me. Just to even look at her was breathtaking, and I just never wanted to lose such an amazing work of art. 

I got out if bed and got clothes on. I went to the bathroom and got ready in there too. I noticed little droplets of blood on the counter that were fresh. I looked around to find tracks, but I found a razor in the trash. Who would do such a thing.. and why? I hurried downstairs to check if Mom was awake, but all I found was my Angel of a girl crying in the corner of the kitchen drinking the rest of my Mom's whiskey. I ran to her, but her first response was to push me away and look at me with hateful eyes. I broke on the spot, feeling my heart get ripped completely in half. "W..what did I do..?" I said hesitantly. She growled at me, and all I could do was start creating tears in my eyes. "You.. You were the one who had sex with Ryan! The one who I loved with everything, and you had sex with him!" I felt my heart drop down to the floor. She had a thing with him? I didn't even know.. 

I started breaking down, falling to the floor, looking at my one true love. I've lost her now, after I just gained her, and I didn't know what to do to keep her from leaving me. How could I lose such a perfect happiness I've been looking for for so long? I didn't know what to say.. what to do for that matter. 

"Please.. don't hate me.. don't leave me. I didn't know. H.. he just pressured me into it, and he willingly did it too.." I said emotionally. She only gave me a look of distrust. "And to think I loved you.. to think you could be my mate, and look at what this brought me!" She said loudly and truthfully towards me. I punched the wall beside me, leaving a hole from my anger. "Dont leave! I'd kill myself if you did! You mean everything to me, Des!" I exclaimed trying to get her to realize what she is to me. "Please.. I beg of you.." I bent over by my waist to the floor, clawing at the floor. I then remembered the razor in the bathroom. I looked back up, just crying more. "Why would you set a blade to yourself over this? I'm not worth it, and neither is he.. You're too beautiful for such a ugly thing. An angel who deserves to stay beautiful.." I said. She shook her head and willingly opened her thighs up to show me what she did. She for sure cut herself, but in a way I couldn't believe. She wrote "I loved you' on each thigh, and all I could feel was guilt. "I don't know who I loved more.." She said quietly, looking at me with heartbreak. 

She then got up, putting the empty bottle of whiskey back where she found it, and walked out of the kitchen, beside me. I looked down as she approached beside me, and she stood there for a second. She bent down to my height, and pushed me against the wall beside me roughly, and she cried as she looked at me. "Please.. listen to me.. I love you.. you're my world, and you always will be.. d..don't leave me.." I begged. She just shook her head, and tightened her grip on me. "I can't trust you if you would do this to me. I love you, but all you are is trouble for my heart, and I'm not going to let you hurt me like everyone else. There's someone better than you for me." I knew it was hard to say that to me. I didn't feel like I had a heart anymore, and I was so traumatized over the situation, I didn't know how to keep her from leaving. "What happened to staying with me.. protecting me from the outsiders.. making each of us happy.. doing everything we could to make us stay together?" I asked her calmly. She looked at me in guilt, and I think I hit a spot in her heart no one has. "To live a life as publicly best friends, and privately a pair? You were willing to work to keep me.. to protect me from a life that could internally kill me. What happened to making each other happy? Giving each other the love and respect we both need? To saying we only needed each other?" She still gave no response. "I love you, and I know I have no chance to forever keep you, but I'm going to stay as long as I can, and if I work hard enough, I can keep you forever. I don't care what I have to go through.. the fighting, the new one you fall in love with, ignoring me for someone else, everything.. if Hell isn't restrained and it takes over the world, I'd go first and let you go up to Heaven. If someone wanted to kill you, put that bullet in me first, because I would die for such an amazing girl. If someone has hurt you in any way, let me rip them apart, because horrible things weren't made for you." She started crying from a dead love, and loosened her grip on me. She didn't know if she wanted to hug me or not, so I hugged her first. "Please.. you're the only one I want to make happy, whether I'm dead or not. I'm willing to see a smile on you everyday rather than just a day. That's all you deserve, is happiness, and I'm willing to sacrifice everything to get it to happen." I cried in her shoulder out of undying love, and I hoped it got her to realize how much she meant to me. I messed up, and I realize that, but I'll do everything I can to fix everything. I can't lose the love of my life, and nothing in this world can prove that to her, but ill try as hard as I can to get close to showing it to her. We both sat down on the floor, just hugging and crying. 

I hope she sees how I feel about her now, because she's my life, and the only one who deserves my heart. I love you.