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Lost feeling


I don't know what to do. I mean I'm just sitting here picking at my fingers wondering what the hell I'm doing. I could be doing homework, writing, reading, talking to my mom, watching tv or movie, hanging out with my brothers, or even unpacking my room. But instead, I choose to sit here and jack up my fingers. Why you may ask? I don't know. I just sit here in my dark and partially empty dining room on the floor.

I'm hungry. But I don't feel like getting up. I don't feel like making food or even trying to. I don't feel like trying to do anything.

I know it's scary to think about this. But sometimes I want to kill myself. Just to see what heaven is like, if it even exists. My life doesn't suck. I don't suck, I don't think. I like myself. I like my tangly long and curly hair and I like my big butt and my wobbly thighs. But I don't feel like doing anything. Not in the lazy kind of way. More like the what's-the-point way.

Now it's not like I hate anyone because I don't. I try to like everyone. If I don't, situations will arise that I don't even want to think about. It's just a waste of time. And energy.






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