There was a slight breeze which made the chilly January air even more cold. I wrapped my arms around my waist and walked back to my flat as fast as I could. I wanted to get out of the public so I could let the tears fall.
The tears started pouring over my eyes and my lips started quivering. I knew I was not going to last until my flat so I went and found an alley to walk and sit down. I went in the middle of it and saw that no one would really notice me. I let the tears spill and I felt my breath getting shorter. I couldn't see and eventually ended up on my knees with my chest squeezing in pain.
I knew it was going to hurt but I didn't realize it was going to hit me so hard. I could barley breathe and it actually felt like my heart was breaking. I was sobbing and had my arms wrapped around my legs. I didn't care if the ground was cold and wet from the melted snow. All I wanted was Harry's arms to be wrapped around me and telling me that everything would be all right, but I knew the truth, nothing was going to be all right.
I sat there in the alley for about a half hour before I figured it was time to go. I got up, wiped the tears off my face, and then continued walking to my flat. When I got there I saw that Niall's car was parked in the lot. I really wished he was not there but I figured he already knew.
I walked in and saw Ellie sitting on the couch with Niall's arms wrapped around her. I missed Harry holding me like that. They both looked at me with a cautious expression when I walked through the door.
"Hey! How are you?" Ellie asks.
I looked at her and was going to respond but then all of a sudden I just burst out into tears. Niall looked shocked but I could barley see him since there were so many tears in my eyes. Ellie quickly got off the couch and came over to me. She wrapped her arms around me and I felt myself falling apart in her arms, but I didn't want her arms, I wanted Harry's arms.
I heard the front door close and I figured Niall had left to give me and Ellie some privacy. I continued to cry in her arms for what seemed like hours.
"Why did you do it?" She asked when I was finally beginning to breathe right again.
"I just... I just had to. The hate was getting to be too much for me and he was going away on tour and all the fans are right! We were not going to last! It was only two months, practically like a summer romance except a winter one!" I said while tears continued to fall down my face.
"Do you love him?" She asked.
"Yeah."
She sighs and gives me another hug. I ended up balling again for another few minutes but then knew that I had to go study for a test tomorrow.
"I need to... I need to go." I said.
"Ok." She said while looking slightly worried for sanity.
I started to walk into my bedroom when I hear her call out my name.
"Yeah?"
"You know I'm proud of you. I wanted to...I wanted to let you know that I am proud of you for giving love a chance again...even if didn't work out." She said.
I nodded my head and feel the tears start to spill from my eyes again. It was going to be a long night. A long life. I had never loved anyone so much even it was just for two months. The way he made me feel was like no other guy ever had and I knew that he would probably never find a love like that again.
I curled up into a ball on my bed and decided to forget the studying that was needed for tomorrow. I wrapped my arms around my pillow and imagined Harry holding me. I ended up falling asleep with the memories of Harry and I flooding my mind.
*****
I was in bed and only had five minutes to get to class but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything at the moment, except for Harry.
"Brooke. I am heading out to class. Niall is bringing me to the doctors today so I will see you later. If you need me call me. I will come straight back. I left some ice cream in the freezer." She said.
I nodded my head a little and I saw her leave with a worried expression. I closed my eyes and think of Harry. I think of his green eyes staring back at me on the night I danced under the starlight and snow. I thought of the first time I saw him, sitting on the bench, completely lost, and him offering to help. I thought of his curly hair under my chin as me and him cuddled on his bed. I had never loved a person so much.
I laid in bed the whole day and only got up to go get the ice cream and pick up the pizza from the store. I didn't go on twitter or turn the telly on because I knew I would hear about it somehow. I didn't want to see the headlines "Harry and his girl over for good?!" or some other cheesy way of announcing it.
I slept for most of the day and talked to my mom on the phone. She was worried and almost bought a ticket to come see me but I talked her out of it. I wanted to go home but I knew that I couldn't since I had school. I wished I had never broke up with Harry but I knew I had to.
I thought of home which made me want to go there even more. It was a Thursday and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I could at least go back for the weekend. It would cost a lot of money but I needed to get away. I wanted to be far away from all the pain but no matter where I would go I would be missing him.
I looked over at my lap top and went to it. It was the first time I had gotten up in almost two hours. I logged on and started looking up plane tickets. There was a cheap enough flight that I could afford with the help from my mother. I called her up and she agreed she would help me out. I bought the ticket and within minutes I had my suitcase out, packing clothes. I was happy to be getting away from it all even if the pain would still be with me no matter what.
