Only you - Johnny x Ponyboy

Gone

Johnny's pov

I kept gasping for air, it was hard to breathe but I didn't want to stop running. The pain didn't matter anyways, not where I was going. A million thoughts flew through my head, most of them were telling me to kill myself.

I'm confused and I just don't know anymore.

I don't even know if Pony is mad at me, but I'm sure he won't miss me anyways. I had nobody else.

Ponyboy was all I had and he hates me now, what else could I do? Maybe it's more then a million thoughts, either way, I had to do this.

Ponyboy's pov

Dallas and I checked the lot but Johnny was nowhere to be found, I didn't like this, I hope we find him soon. I just prayed he wasn't mad at me for anything.

(About an hour later)

We had basically searched the whole town for Johnny, wherever he was, he didn't want to be found. I wanted to find him, I really did. I just was loosing hope, "hey kid, I'm sorry that he's missing, but we gotta get going. Darry'll be worried sick and he'd kill me if he knew I was with you!" Dallas explained, obviously I knew that. "Dally, Darry and I fought again.."

Dally sighed.

"Fine, come with me."

"What?"

"Did I stutter?"

I shook my head and Dally starts walking, I don't know if I should be scared but for some reason I was. You never know with Dallas Winston.

We stopped at this cabin style house thing, I can't really explain it. Dallas told me to spend the night there and wait until he gets back and that we'll deal with this situation in the morning. I wonder why Dally was being so nice to me.

Johnny's pov

  The world looks so different from this far up. Part of me didn't want this but that was quickly pushed aside, things like 'nobody cares' and 'just do it' went through my mind. I didn't want people to think I was selfish, the only reason I was still up there and not down below was I was worried about what people would think of me.

I guess that won't really matter will it.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and count to 3.

***
Ponyboy's pov

    I wake up a later than I usually would. I felt stranger today I don't know, it just didn't feel right. I look around and I don't see Dally so I get up.

I was sitting on the couch waiting for Dally, when he bursts through the door tripping over his feet, he was freaking out. "Dally? What's the matter?"

Ignoring me, he starts pacing around the room franticly with a newspaper in his hands. I try to read the headline but he's moving it around to much. He keeps mumbling swears under his breath when I get a glimpse of the title. It read 'Local teen commits suicide' and then it hit me.

Oh god... Johnny.

I was hoping it wasn't him, but I had this sinking feeling it was. Actually, it wasn't just a feeling, I knew it was.

  Dally threw the newspaper at me and continued pacing. I was scared to look but I was curious, so I look down and in big bold letters I re-read 'local teen commits suicide' I read the first line. 'Last night a local teen jumped off the roof of the building on the corner of 6th street. Nobody knew who he was.'

  Beside those words they had a sketch, I tried to picture it as someone else. Anyone accept Johnny, but it resembled him so much. "Pony.." Dally tried to comfort me, I don't know if I could handle this, I just didn't know how to respond.

Dally's pov

  Ponyboy was bawling his eyes out, I tried not to cry but I couldn't help it, I felt like this was Pony's fault.

  I haven't admitted this to anyone, not even myself, but I liked Johnny... A lot. More than anyone, maybe more than a friend. He was special to me, I bet if he would've noticed that then he might like me too. But it didn't matter, he decided to date Ponyboy. How? How could he pick Pony over me?

  If he dated me I would've made him feel special, make him feel like he was important. We could've had it all. But no, he's gone. And it's all Ponyboy's fault.

End of chapter 17