One Hundred Attempts

Pants, Pizza and Platonic Friends

"Hello Internet." I began as I looked into the camera and added a salute. "I have something very important to..." But I never finished my sentence. Instead I sighed as the words "Attempt 93" floated through my head.

I had really tried this time. I had set up the camera and pressed record. Maybe this wasn't the right way to do it, but I had started to run out of ways to try to get it out of my mouth. I couldn't say it and it was starting to eat me whole.
So instead of wallowing in my thoughts I decided to get something from the kitchen.

It wasn't until after I had begun digging into my snack when I realized how quite it was in the apartment.
"Phil?" I called out skeptically, but there was no reply. Phil was my flatmate and fellow youtuber, but he was also my best friend. We were inseparable and I quite liked it that way. The only problem was, I fancied him. Big time. I can't even remember a time when I didn't have a crush on Phil Lester.

A rather loud knock on the front door wrenched me out of my daydreams. Who could that be? I pondered as I walked to the door. I pulled it open and jumped back in surprise. In front of me stood a five foot tall leafy plant. At that moment a man with black hair and blue eyes popped out from behind it.

"Hey there Danny!" said Phil excitedly as he started pushing the gigantic plant inside the apartment. "Can you help me with this?"

"Phil, what the fuck is this?" I asked as I gestured to the green abomination.

"It's a plant, Dan, duh." Phil answered as he flashed me one of his cheeky smiles.

Jesus christ he was beautiful when he did that. I shook that thought out of my mind quickly and put on my pretend grumpy face.
"You and your bloody house plants!" I exclaimed, but helped him bring it into the hallway anyways.

Phil kept changing where he wanted the plant to go, so after ten minutes of the agonizing labour of lugging it around our apartment we finally gave up and flopped on the living room carpet.

"That weighed a ton!" Phil expressed.

"It's your fault for getting it in the first place." I replied as I glanced over at him. I almost hyperventilated at the sight of Phil's body stretched out across the floor.

"Now's the time." I told myself, "Stop being a wuss and tell the guy!"
I was about to open my mouth when Phil turned his head quickly so our noses were inches apart. I was taken aback by the sudden movement so I shuffled towards the sofa and away from him.

Phil smiled and whispered, "Let's order some pizza, plant relocating made me hungry!"

I inwardly cringed at this, but nodded as a reply. "I was almost going to tell you something Philip!" I screamed at him internally, "But then you had to come along with your perfect smile and perfect ideas and fuck me up all over again."

Then Phil snapped me out of my thoughts by yelling from the other side of the apartment, "Dan, what kind of pizza do you want?"

I heaved in a big breath as the words "Attempt 94" crashed like a tsunami through my mind. I put on a slightly fake smile and joined him in the other room.