Somewhere in Neverland (An All Time Low Fan Fic)

8) A Distant Pull

The next few days were the toughest. After Alex and I kissed, I could barely look at him straight without feeling guilty. And wanting him even more. That's how the days played out. When the sun was shining, I was avoiding Alex at all cost, even so much as riding on other bands' tour buses instead of All Time Low's. And at night, when my favorite time of day arrived and the sun was gone, I dreamed of nothing but Alex Gaskarth. His lips on my, the way he held me close. The way he felt, looked, tasted. And I realized, slowly but surely, he was all I wanted.

"You know, maybe you should just tell him." Noelle plopped down beside me. I was currently sat in Mayday Parade's bus, gazing out the window from the couch and entertaining thoughts of Alex. I took the thumb nail I'd been chewing away from my mouth and gazed at her.

"It isn't as simple as that." I sighed and fiddled my thumbs, because Noelle's accusing stare was heartbreaking and sickening. It made me feel more guilt than I did when I saw Alex. The only difference was, she made me feel guilty as to why I wasn't with him already. Why I didn't push him against a wall this instant and take his clothes off.

"Of course it is." Noelle pointed out, offering me a bottled lemonade from her hand. "You've just got to know the right way to do it."

"He's got a girlfriend, Noelle." I countered and dropped my head, eyes tearing at just the words paired together. Alex had a girlfriend. He'd cheated on her with me. Not only did I want someone who had someone else, I had been a slut about it too.

"Oh, bullshit. If he really liked her, he wouldn't have had mouth sex with you." Noelle said, and through all my sadness and longing, I had to laugh my hardest at Noelle's choice of words.

After my laughter died down, and my smile turned back into a grimace, I looked at Noelle with another kind of somberness. "He was drunk. Extremely and uncontrollably drunk. He had no idea what he was doing."

"Oh, he knew what he was doing alright." Noelle said firmly. "If he didn't, then why does he look at you the way he does now? He knows what he did, and he knows he liked it."

"Okay, okay. I'll bite. Let's change the subject. What's going on with you and Jack?" I knew I probably shouldn't have brought up the subject, but not bringing anything up was worse than Noelle's next words.

"He's just a straight douche. I'm serious, I'm so ready to go home. He's cruel and rude, he told me he doesn't even want me on this trip." Noelle sighed and I put my hand on her leg, afraid she really would go home. Maybe we both should. "I just hate him so much."

"Pit stop, ladies! And then it's straight on until Hotlanta." Brooks, Mayday Parade's rhythm guitar player, called out to us from the door of the tour bus, where the whole band was filing out. Atlanta. That was Warped Tour's next destination, after they'd played all over the west coast. Noelle and I were going home, briefly, and maybe, after everything that happened, we should stay their permanently.

Noelle and I gathered any essentials and trooped into the lazy gas station. After quickly using the bathroom, we made our back out onto the floor to hunt for a snack, something entirely made of junk and non-nutrient supplements.

After picking out bags of chips, candy, and drinks, us and the whole MP band gathered our bags and headed back onto the tour bus, making it back on the bus in record time. If there was an Olympic event for pit stopping, we'd be gold medalist.

The ride to Atlanta was extremely boring and silent. Noelle and I didn't speak any more on the matters we both had at hand, and in a way, I liked that. It made everything less real by not talking about it. So, instead, we plugged in a DVD of Adventure Time with a few members of the band and watched that until the rest of our ten hour drive was over.

"Oh, Atlanta, you smell the exact same." I laughed as we all escaped the tour bus. It was true. Atlanta smelled nothing like the sweet, beachy smell of the west coast. Everything was musty, and slightly briny. Atlanta was defiantly not a hot spot on the tourists of the USA map, in my opinion.

"It kinda feels good to be home." Noelle came up beside me as we made our way to the equipment van and started helping the band set up. It was a quick process as other bands arrived and began to help as well, and finally we were almost done and ready for the days happenings.

Already, music swirled around us. Bands were beginning to perform everywhere we looked. Bands who were local or arrived earlier were bouncy the crowds and slamming their instruments, and then I remembered what I absolutely loved about everyplace we'd been to: the music. No matter what happened or where we went, the music always stayed the same.

"Well, we're going to scope the place out. We'll be back to watch you guys perform." Noelle and I waved and walked out of the bands' tents and towards the pulsing crowd of people. This park was one of the many places in Atlanta Noelle and I hadn't visited, so after a few minutes of navigation and map reading, we finally located the food and information booths.

After purchasing a couple funnel cakes and a band schedule, Noelle and I just began to mill around and people watch. It sounded creepy, but it was the most fun we seemed to be having at that moment in time. It sure beat going back to the bands' tents and hanging around Jack and Alex.

"Oh. My. God. MaKenna?! Noelle?! What are you guys doing here?!" A screech behind Noelle and me made us turn sharply and give the person behind us a sharp, confused stare. Suddenly, over memories cleared and we both ran to hug the frizzy haired brunette that had just called out our names.

"Oh my gosh, Kayla! How are you?" I wrapped my arms around mine and Noelle's long time friend before quickly going back to my funnel cake.

"Oh, Warped Tour is always so much fun. I'm here with my older brother, although he seems to be here with every other hot girl but me," She laughed along with us. "So, technically, I'm here alone and I'm doing alright. What about you guys? How are you?"

"Oh, we're great." Noelle and I said simultaneously, ironically.

"We've been on tour with this band, All Time Low. So we've been all over for Warped Tour." I finished up and watched Kayla's brown eyes go wide.

"Holy shit! That's fucking large! You're on tour with All Time Low? That's like, my favorite band! Oh my goodness, I would absolutely love to be on tour with them." Kayla screeched and exclaimed, her hands clasped together at our fortune.

That was when Noelle and I glanced at each other. Our bright blue and grey eyes mixed together, having a perfect silent conversation. Noelle ended it by looking over at Kayla and saying "Well, you could come with us the rest of the tour, if you wanted to."

"No. Fucking. Way. Are you serious?!" Kayla started screeching again and jumping around, hugging us and splashing powdered sugar from our funnel cakes on her shirt.

"Yeah, totally. We need another friend here with us, and you're always the best." I said happily and Kayla agreed. Soon, instead of walking around, silently thinking about our problems with band members, Noelle and I were walking around with Kayla as we listened to her talk about how much fun we were going to have. And it was a good distraction.

But no, I should have seen it coming. This was the exact downfall of everything I had worked so hard for that miserable summer. Every little thing was going to fall apart, just because of the little decision Noelle and I made that faithful day in Atlanta. We just didn't know it yet, because all bad things disguise themselves as good things. And this looked like a very good thing.