Mind the Code: The Problem with Revenge

Accidents Happen

"Look at me," My mom said, brushing makeup onto me. I rolled my eyes. "Roll your eyes at me one more time, little girl-"

"I hate this, I feel so heavy." I complained.

She pursed her lips, "I haven't even put that much on you, you're being ridiculous." She told me.
I was in her bathroom, and heard from her room as DJ snickered at me. 

"There," My mom straightened up, looking at me with pride. "Aw," She praised, "You're so beautiful, Ava."

I looked in the mirror. She did a good job, but as I stared at myself I began to see that I wasn't a teenager any more. I looked like a woman, what was I doing acting like a child and playing games with other people's feelings? I felt this wasn't even about revenge anymore... Maybe I just didn't want to grow up.

I stared at myself and on instinct grabbed my phone to call Emily and tell her that I was actually wearing makeup, but remembered she and I weren't friends anymore. And my heart sunk into a low place. "Thanks, Mom. I actually like it."

She hugged me tight, and DJ came over and said I looked beautiful. But I felt so sad.

I was on my period.

On my way to school I sat in the parking lot. My stomach hurt and I watched as everybody walked back and forth into the school. I looked up, seeing Mark. He was already staring at me, and I smiled. He smiled back, such a meaningful smile, the change I saw in his eyes, it was a dark sorrow that was held in him, but those familiar eyes lit up as he shared a moment with me. And I wanted to tell him I loved him- but I didn't. Mark's friends didn't notice as they pulled him into the school, Mark's eyes couldn't be torn from me. Not until I was no longer in sight.

As I sat alone in my car, I pressed my head against my wheel and started to sob. My stomach tightened, and I felt the imaginary knives as they twisted inside from my stomach, the cramps were horrifying, and I cried because all I could think of was Mark and Emily kissing each other, Mark undressing her like she was the one he was in love with. He wasn't thinking twice about me when he was with her.

I sucked in a breath, sitting up and wiping my eyes. I just got so emotional when I was on my period, and I was in so much pain. 

I checked my makeup, it was still perfect, but I was just extremely frustrated that I couldn't wipe my eyes. I hopped out of my car, and walked across the parking lot to the school. Alex called my name. I looked at him, I couldn't say anything or else I'd cry again.

"Hey," He jogged up until he got to me and stopped, staring at my face. "You look different."

"My mom wanted to put makeup on me today," I chuckled, and he narrowed his eyes at me, gently running a finger past my eyelashes, and he looked to see the makeup stuck to his finger. My eyes were still wet.

"Have you been crying?"

I sighed, facing away from him as I stared to cry again, and he made me face him again. "What- Ava, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

I just cried and he pulled me into a hug. I was just crying to cry. Nothing in particular set me off, I was just sad. I was crying too hard to tell Alex that.

He was rubbing my back, telling me it'd be okay, but I knew it would be okay, I was just annoyed at myself for crying so much. "Hey," he said softly, and I released myself from him.

I groaned in frustration at myself, "I'm fine. I'm sorry, I'm- I'm on my period." I said in a flush.
He stared at me in confusion and I groaned again as the knives in my stomach stabbed me. I pressed my head to his chest and took a deep breath. "God I'm in so much pain." I cringed, and he brushed my hair back, not knowing what to do.